re: SF Bay Area Cohousing
From: findley (
Date: Mon, 11 Jan 93 12:33 CST
Hello, I seem to have touched off something with a reference to women's
cohousing.  I'm really not sure how I feel about a women's community
as a permanent place to live; I have grown sons, a brother, and a father,
to all of whom I am very closely connected, and I would not live anywhere
where they would not be completely welcome visitors.

On the other hand, cohousing seems to occupy the place where family
and society meet.  We do expect to choose those with whom we live in
a household on the basis of our personal proclivities and comfort
levels, accepting our limitations in the amount of diversity we can
tolerate in our own personal living space -- bathrooms and kitchens.

In a small cohousing community where a lot of decisions are made jointly,
whether people can learn to understand each other is a really important
issue.  I know a few fine people (of my own race and gender) with whom
I don't think I would voluntarily live in community, because the emotional
wear and tear would just be too exhausting.  Is it legitimate to take
these questions into account in forming a cohousing group? 

And, what if some people believe there are some groups of people they
can never live in close association with?  I don't have this belief myself;
but it seems to me that if some women, for example, feel that they can't
live closely with any men, then probably everyone is better off if they
live separately as long as they feel that way.

Rachel Findley

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