|Re: Meeting strategies--check-out/Check in||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Rob Sandelin (robsanmicrosoft.com)|
|Date: Fri, 3 Jun 94 10:23 CDT|
One of the interesting things I have observed in watching groups meet, and also being involved in my own groups meeting is that when the meeting focus shifts primarily to business at hand, and relationship building is reduced or eliminated, often problems emerge in the business meeting. I have been able to observe about 20 different communities doing meetings and have seen that the most often cause of conflicts expressed in meetings is that the person or persons initiating the conflict has some other issue or thing to discuss which is not "business" and therefore is not on the agenda and is being ignored. Although I recognize that the details and decisions in designing and creating a housing development are an enormous task, I also would say that if you ignore the interpersonal bonding needs of the group, it will very likely come back and bite you when you least expect it. Part of building trust comes from knowing each other, knowing what we do for a living, where we grew up, what hobbies we share, what interests we all have. How well do you know the people in your group? Really know them? Granted you can learn about each other over the long term of your relationship, but it is hard to trust strangers. Because you do business meetings for 8 hours a month together doesn't mean you know each other well. And isn't that what it is all about? A simple way to facilitate getting to know each other is to host informal gatherings, which are completely separate which have a group sharing attached. For example one sharing could be: tell a story of your childhood. Another way of helping to get to know each other is to have everyone write up a biography of themselves. It helps to have someone who is an interviewer so they can ask questions and then write up the responses of those who aren't writers. In my opinion, based on my own experience and observations from other communities, check in and check out are EQUALLY as important as the business of the meeting, and sometimes, more so. When the people in the group know and trust each other, feel secure and part of the group, the business is usually free from distractions. Rob Puget Sound Cohousing Network.
- Re: Meeting strategies--check-out/Check in Rob Sandelin, June 3 1994
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