Cohousing-L Mailing List: Re: Meeting strategies--check-out/Check in

[Judy (BAXTER%EPIHUB]

Rob Sandelin <robsan [at] microsoft.com> wrote:

the most often cause of conflicts expressed  in meetings is that the person or
persons initiating the conflict has  some other issue or thing to discuss which
is not "business" and  therefore is not on the agenda and is being ignored.. .
 . . . .Although I recognize that the details and decisions in designing and 
creating a housing development are an enormous task, I also would say  that if
you ignore the interpersonal bonding needs of the group, it  will very likely
come back and bite you when you least expect it.

check in and check out are EQUALLY as important as the 
business of the meeting, and sometimes, more so.  When the people in 
the group know and trust each other, feel secure and part of the group, 
 the business is usually  free from distractions.
------------------------------------------------------------

Rob - I agree completely with everything you say, but . . . . Our group has
been meeting for 2 1/2 years now.  After much struggle and rebellion, we are
down to one, large group business meeting, 3 hours, per month, plus some
undetermined number (1? 2?) of design/development meetings per month, plus a
residents meeting, 1 evening (1 1/2-2 hours) per month, plus lots of committee
meetings.  We do write autobiographies, and other stuff to get to know each
other.  And with a <3 hours including break> meeting, checking in and out can
take an inordinate amount of time.  We had 29 adults at our last design
meeting.  I think check in/out is important, and needs more control.  What
happens now is a lot of people check out with "I'm done", and I sense
resentment at doing it at all.  And some ramble on.

I wonder about something like - take a minute of silence at end - then have
people say  something if it feels important.  Or would that be a barriar -  

By the way, how does your group do meetings?
judy
Judy Baxter, Monterey Cohousing Community, (MoCoCo)
Twin Cities Area, Minneapolis/St.Paul Minnesota
e-mail: baxter [at] epivax.epi.umn.edu