Re: Sexuality and CoHousing
From: Rob Sandelin (
Date: Mon, 29 Aug 94 11:17 CDT
 <BPaiss [at]> wrote about couples separting

> I would be very interested to hear of other CoHousing communities
>experiences related to this.

At Sharingwood we had the same situation, a couple split up, moved into 
separate households within the community.  Their main issue in the 
divorce was how that could both arrange to stay in the community.  
Later, The exwife got into a relationship with another member.  The 
exhusband had issues to deal with and a small support group formed  for 
him to talk about his issues.  The support group was formed 
spontaneously by other men in the community. He, The exhusband, didn't 
ask for it to happen, it just did...And it was was helpful for him.

She, the exwife, had many issues and starting venting and ranting 
negatively about the exhusband. Each time that happened, she was 
brought up short when people would not support that dialog and she 
finally realized, through the help of a small group of women, that her 
issues, with him were hers alone.  As a group, keeping out of the 
natural side taking in such a split up, was an interesting and group 
growing experience.  Since She and the kids lived with my family for 6 
months just after the breakup, it was especially challenging for my 
family not to join in, even passively, in the side taking in the 

The result of this is that both of them live in the same community, 
share childcare duties and responsibilities and they even hang out a 
little bit now and then.  If we had all joined up sides, as friends 
sometimes do in this situation, I am not sure how it would have turned out.

Rob Sandelin

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