RE: Visiting people without calling first
From: Rob Sandelin (
Date: Mon, 16 Jan 95 12:33 CST
Just wanted to make clear something which may be misinterpreted from 
what I wrote.
What I said, which was quoted by Bob Morrison was:

> I was taught and I guess feel pretty strongly still that visiting
> someone's home who you do not know without an invitation is rude
> behavior. I do not visit even my friends unless I call first.  Its just
> one of those value things I guess.

Bob then wrote a scenario about people visiting each other. What I 
meant in  the first sentence is the important point I was trying to 
make in relation to visiting cohousing.  If you don't know anyone in a 
cohousing group you want to visit , I Rob Sandelin, based on my own 
cohousing experience, and conversations with other cohousing and 
intentional  communities, think it is rude to just show up and walk 
around without calling first.

Now the second sentence has to do with the schedules and lives of me 
and my friends.  If my friends drop in without calling the odds are at 
least 50/50 on any weekend that I will not be home or will be 
unavailable.  This is true in the reverse, which primarily is why I 
call first.  My family is involved in many activities, many of which 
are scheduled several weeks in advance.  It is unfortunate, if I have 
tickets to the play, if a friend shows up unannounced at my door, ten 
minutes before I leave.  That is why I prefer my friend to call me, so 
I can be sure that I can "schedule" them in.  Now, to a person who does 
not have as busy a life as I do, this probably seems absurd.  With two 
kids, a large family, lots of friends, lots of hobbies and activities 
and living in a cohousing community, I am a fully busy person who might 
not be around if you come to visit without calling.

Rob Sandelin

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