Respectable (was Re: Not an English teacher, but.....)
From: Loren Davidson (
Date: Tue, 31 Jan 95 11:34 CST
At 01:52 AM 1/31/95 CST, John M. Gear wrote:

>, I think.  I frequent that list quite a bit; right now there's a hot
>discussion on polyrelationships (as opposed to monogamous)--for the sake of
>keeping coho's image respectable we might want to keep those topics over
>there.  I think too many people leap to conclusions with the prefix co- on
>anything; I can almost hear them thinking "co-housing, co-mmune, communist"
>when I talk to people about it.  I sure as *heck* don't want to bring my
>religious principles into it, even if they are UU.
Please pardon the sound of buttons being pushed in the background...BUT...

We just had a really good thread going here on respecting diversity within
communities.  Now, John, you want to throw some of that diversity out of
this group (regarding poly relationships in this case) because it doesn't
fit your (or someone's) definition of "respectable".  Please note that "when
you pick up one end of the stick, you pick up the other."

I respect your right, John, to live in a community with people who share
your values.  I respect the rights and views of those in this list who seem
to feel that cohousing means "let's create our own self-designed
neighborhood and leave THEM (fill in the blank) out".  I don't agree with it

I come from the side of the tracks that views "cohousing" (in all its
incarnations) as a vehicle for enhancing community among people.  I believe
that if we don't start treating the people next to us as neighbors,
regardless of who they are and where we are, that our country is likely to
end up looking like Bosnia.  I think that cohousing as represented by many
of the people posting here can be a major factor in re-creating larger-scale
community in our nation.

Community, to me, means respecting diversity.  Intentional neighborhoods and
communities such as those represented here are, IMHO, in relation to
single-family suburbs as poly relationships are to monogamous ones.  It's an
alternative that works for many that needs to be accepted as such.
Otherwise, we never get past chaos into community, to use Scott Peck's model.

If you wait for common acceptance before taking a risk, you will wait forever.

Loren Davidson 
lmd [at]
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