|Re: Respectable||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Rebecca Dawn Kaplan (rebeccapsyche.mit.edu)|
|Date: Tue, 31 Jan 95 16:54 CST|
John seems to feel very upset at having his statements about nonmonogamy challenged. It seems John, that you are being rathe r knee-jerk, not the people who questioned your attitudes. Without anyone having brought up Poly issues, you asserted that we should not discuss them here, because to do so would make CoHo appear less respectable, would make more people out there dislike us. You later defend yourself by claiming that you personally are not anti-poly. But whether or not you are anti-poly is not the issue. You did assert that we should silence this list on certain topics in order to gain the respect of people out there who are anti-poly, therebyu implying that keeping the anti-poly people from being offended is more important than allowing poly people to discuss their lives. This, itself *is* an anti-poly attitude. But, the problem I have with it is not about polyamory per se, but about the assertion t that we should pretend to be something other than we are in order to gain the approval of bigots. It is one thing for someone to make an individual decision not to "come out" about some facet of their lives when they are in a situation in which it does not feel safe for them to do so. However, to argue that an entire group has an obligation to ensure that its members remain closeted *about somethign that we do not believe is wrong* in order to ensure the respectability of the movement is highly problematic. What else should we lie about? Should we pretend that we are all Christians? That we are all white? etc. I believe strongly in the principles of group living as a method to build community and increase social welfare and environmental sustainability. I believe that compulsory monogamy is part of the social system which I am trying to fight, as is class oppression. If we sacrifice these facets of liberation in order that "cohousing" be accepted, then what is left to work towards? (if we are worried about people thinking we are commies, then we might be inclined to eliminate the shared-property facets of CoHo, but then, what would be left of it? A more friendly suburb?) -Rebecca If I can't dance, I don't want to be a part of this revolution.
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