Re: Respectable [FWD]
From: Fred H Olson WB0YQM (
Date: Wed, 1 Feb 95 05:08 CST
E. Jay O'Connell EJAY [at] TIAC.NET is the author of this message but due
to an address problem it was posted by the COHOUSING-L sysop (Fred).
****************  FORWARDED MESSAGE FOLLOWS *********************

>Sorry, but I don't see this.  Maybe I'm not as paranoid, but I just don't
>believe that enough of these people have made this sort of connection.  I
>believe that it is beyond their range of perception unless someone gets into
>their faces with it.  I try not to get into people's faces with stuff like
>that.  I just do what I do and act as though it's the most perfectly natural
>thing in the world.  You can go a long way on that, I've found.

This is the polyamorian strategy. It's optimistic, disarming, and has
worked well within the largely liberal community of the internet to date It
also works around universities.

However, it is important to remember that Newt Gingrich is inviting to
speak on Capitol Hill an antigay activist that has advocated setting up
concentration camps for the HIV infected, and the backlash against minority
communities everywhere.

Remember Wako Texas. One of the things that was judged Intolerable in that
community was minority attitudes towards various sexual issues. I'm in no
way comparing Polyamorians with Koresh. Some of my best friends are
polyamorian. I have been at times as well. But this blithe attitude of
assumed tolerance isn't going to cut it with the unreasoning hordes.

People at all levels will make strategic decisions about what to include in
their discussion of cohousing. I think not bringing up various issues would
probably be the best strategy. "What goes on in peoples private spaces is
people's private business. Just like Suburbia." Communities should decide
on The Stance on these issues.

I suspect if Coho becomes a soapbox from which people preach the joys of
polyamory, it will terrify the middle class, who are extremely afraid that
sharing a meal and a commons might lead to Anarchy, Communism, Herpes,
Dental Decay, Child Pornography, and The End of Days.

The second an angry polyamorian is forced to say to some leering
journalist, "LOOK. There's no group sex in the commonhouse with the kids
sitting on bleachers getting community instruction on technique,' the
movement takes a hit. The statement will be misquoted. The Media will have
a Story.

Let the wrong people get the idea this is taking place,  and tanks will
burst through the walls spewing fire.

Who was that guy who kept saying "beware this idea being tainted by the
crunchy left? I suspect he was right, as much as he pissed me off.

I suspect there will be coho communities that tolerate polyamory and
gay/lesbian/bi relationships, and those that do not, just as there are
religious and social communities that argue these points as well. People
will gravitate towards their own. There will be diversity of tolerance
levels in cohousing, if it ever takes off and infects the middle class at

Diversity is good. As the conservatives say, people will vote with their feet.


E. Jay O'Connell____________________________________________Member SFWA

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