From: Stuart Staniford-Chen (
Date: Wed, 1 Feb 95 11:23 CST
Rebecca Kaplan writes:

> Despite all of this, no one has proposed cutting the 
> trumpeting of UU on this list in order to 
> protect the image of coho.  why?  I suggest that it is 
> because most people like UU, but don';t feel 
> comfortable with polyamory.  I raise this again because

There is another explanation.  Lot's of people have indicated
their communities have lots of Unitarian/Univeralists -
presumably because they are telling the truth.  Nobody has said
that there are lots of polyamorous people in their community.  I
take that to mean that there aren't particularly many polyamorous
people in most cohousing communities.  Indeed, in my (admittedly
limited) experience, polyamory is no more common in cohousing
than anywhere else.

I am comfortable with people being polyamorous - in my community
or anywhere else.  However, since it isn't particularly common,
it is not a defining feature of cohousing at large.

I think what others were worrying about was that elements of
society opposed to cohousing would try to portray polyamory as a
major feature of cohousing.  In the climate of intolerance that
is currently sweeping the country, this could harm cohousing.  I
think that's a legitimate fear.  I understand early in N Street's
history we had contact with a television station interested in
doing a story on us.  Apparently they came looking for stories of
spouse-swapping, free-love, and the like.  When they found out
that we were fairly boring in that respect, they dropped the

Nonetheless - I certainly don't think discussion about polyamory
in cohousing should be suppressed or made to feel unwelcome here.
But it should be confined to the specific context of cohousing
and be realistic (IMO).

Finally, I would appeal to folks to keep the courtesy level high:
several posts on this thread have bordered on being personal
attacks.  That makes me uncomfortable.

N St Cohousing

(As far as I'm aware, there are *no* Unitarians/Universalists at
N St.  I believe our only practising Christian is an

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