Nonparents and Parents in Cohousing
From: John Gear (
Date: Mon, 6 Mar 95 17:59 CST
Problem:  I thought this post was doing great until it said:

>I'd say that if it's a problem, get the older kids to cook. 
>There doesn't seem much point in making parents cook more often than non-
>parents when the former already have less free time.

Common Attitude about People Without Children

I fear this attitude.  We're in our thirties and have made the kid/no-kid
decision in the negative--and with each year passing it's probably less
likely that we'll change our minds.

But I'm worried that the natalist attitude that pervades the US--which is
*so* ingrained in most people as to be invisible to them--will create a
problem in our eventual community if we don't accept "our" role gracefully.
"Our" role being, says the attitude, to accomodate people who choose to have
children because we have more time, money, less stress etc. etc.

Do Nonparents Have More Free Time?

But I don't notice any additional "free time" resulting from our decision
not to have children.  I just checked and I'm still only getting 24 a day,
just like parents do.  As for money, if we'd had kids I never would have
left Wallyworld to start my own business with the attendent enforced
frugality, so I'd have *lots* more of it if I had kids.  Mary wouldn't be
working two jobs.  As for stress, I find this to be an individual
thing--stressed-out parents were stressed-out before they had kids.

Is There a Better Idea?

Do any nonparents (or parents) on this list find this to be a problem?  
Do you encounter a bias towards/away from children in your community?  
Are there tensions resulting from mixing families with kids in an unusually
tight (for US) community with families without kids?
Is there a better way to handle it than to simply assume that families
without kids have more time to cook (or whatever) for those with kids?

John Gear (catalyst [at]
"The same old fraternity boys, geezers in golf pants, cheese merchants, cat
stranglers, corporate shills, Bible beaters, swamp developers, amateur cops,
and old gasbags that we have known since time immemorial."
                                --Garrison Keillor on the congressional GOP 

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