Re: "Base Model" Cohousing, + | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: 'Judith Wisdom (wisdompobox.upenn.edu) | |
Date: Thu, 12 Oct 1995 19:04:02 -0500 |
There's a real sense in which I feel it incorrect for me to participate in what everyone, I among them, feel is a wonderfully productive and rich discussion. But I will anyway because there's a strand that bears on something that alas has to be dear to my heart. One of the subissues about religion, or belief systems, or ideology being put forward in a heavy duty way with regard to coho communities is, as has been pointed out, a sense of exclusivity--of people feeling that a community wouldn't accept them or they couldn't accept the community because they couldn't hold those beliefs so fiercely or at all. As we've seen this is not an easy issue in freedom but surely an important and very interesting one. Even noncoho neighborhoods have certain auras and character that are exclusive but I, personally, prefer coho communities with just enough beliefs about democracy and decency and responsibility to keep them good and thriving places. However, and this is a big however, even such places as that have a sotto vocce requirement. Wellness and able-bodiedness. As one who was well and able-bodied and vigorous my whole life, as one who shares much with those attracted to, wanting, and living in coho communities, I now find I'm excluded because I'm not well and have a chronic illness. I couldn't hold down my end of things in a coho community. In fact, I might even need some help or help getting help (like the help I get from my friends and from the neighborhing area where I live, e.g., getting my groceries delivered because I can't carry groceries, etc.). When I read about (and really accept and believe and know) the good spirit towards the planet and all the fellow-feeling I realise that people not hit by illness, good people, just don't know, as I did not formerly, how those who are now disabled in one way or another, can't join coho communities despite their affinity for such an approach to living and despite their actual need for close, good neighbors. I know there are no easy solutions. I know it's hard for communities to function even with everyone in tip top shape. But the sweetness, the practicality, the spirituality (as in good character and a sense of human connection) needs to have people thinking, even if slowly and quietly, (or vociforously and quickly) about the contradicitions of their value systems with some of the outcomes. This is not a criticism. Despite my dear desire for things to be different, I understand the problem. I just hope it won't be put so far on the back burner as to be forgotten. In the paper I wrote and posted to the list some time back I envisioned the possibility that I don't like, of coho exclusivily for groups of disabled folks. I hate that idea. Especially since my illness isn't either terminal or necessarily permanent. A cure could come down the pike and I could be digging trenches. I'm not optomistic but I don't identify with being ill or an invalid even though I am pretty damn limited physically. E. g. on very good days can walk 4 blocks, but most days l/2 to 2! So my spirit would be a bit crushed living in such a ghetto. Yet I see no other route if I want coho. That's not to say that's about to happen. None exist for people like me. So please in your various communities remember that in all noncoho neighborhoods there are people who live alone or in families, people who are ill. They cope. They struggle. Sometimes they're awfully isolated by their illness. But they manage. In principal why should they be excluded from the chance at coho, I ask myself? But they/we are. Please don't let this interrupt the great discussion spawned by the reaction to the closing ceremonies. I really mean this to be thought about in connection with what the discussion spawns, back in your communities or forming communities. Or you can email me privately. This is not meant as a guilt trip and I've held back because of that. I will post the reaction to my paper when it appears in the CFIDS Chronicle. But I have given you my reaction. I bristle at the thought of forming or joining an all- illness coho. But I bristle at the thought of spending so much of my time outside the contact of something vital, in the midst of urban unconnection. Judith
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