Re: "Base Model" Cohousing, +
From: 'Judith Wisdom (wisdompobox.upenn.edu)
Date: Thu, 12 Oct 1995 19:04:02 -0500
There's a real sense in which I feel it incorrect for me to participate 
in what everyone, I among them, feel is a wonderfully productive and rich 
discussion.  But I will anyway because there's a strand that bears on 
something that alas has to be dear to my heart.

One of the subissues about religion, or belief systems, or ideology being 
put forward in a heavy duty way with regard to coho communities is, as 
has been pointed out, a sense of exclusivity--of people feeling that a 
community wouldn't accept them or they couldn't accept the community 
because they couldn't hold those beliefs so fiercely or at all.  As we've 
seen this is not an easy issue in freedom but surely an important and 
very interesting one.

Even noncoho neighborhoods have certain auras and character that are 
exclusive but I, personally, prefer coho communities with just enough 
beliefs about democracy and decency and responsibility to keep them good 
and thriving places.

However, and this is a big however, even such places as that have a sotto 
vocce
requirement.  Wellness and able-bodiedness.  As one who was well and 
able-bodied and vigorous my whole life, as one who shares much with those 
attracted to, wanting, and living in coho communities, I now find I'm 
excluded because I'm not well and have a chronic illness.  I couldn't 
hold down my end of things in a coho community.  In fact, I might even 
need some help or help getting help (like the help I get from my friends 
and from the neighborhing area where I live, e.g., getting my groceries 
delivered because I can't carry groceries, etc.).  

When I read about (and really accept and believe and know) the good 
spirit towards the planet and all the fellow-feeling I realise that 
people not hit by illness, good people, just don't know, as I did not 
formerly, how those who are now disabled in one way or another, can't 
join coho communities despite their affinity for such an approach to 
living and despite their actual need for close, good neighbors.

I know there are no easy solutions.  I know it's hard for communities to 
function even with everyone in tip top shape.  But the sweetness, the 
practicality, the spirituality (as in good character and a sense of human 
connection) needs to 
have people thinking, even if slowly and quietly, (or vociforously and 
quickly) about the contradicitions of their value systems with some of 
the outcomes.

This is not a criticism.  Despite my dear desire for things to be 
different, I understand the problem.  I just hope it won't be put so far 
on the back burner as to be forgotten.  In the paper I wrote and posted 
to the list some time back I envisioned the possibility that I don't 
like, of coho exclusivily for groups of disabled folks.  I hate that 
idea.  Especially since my illness isn't either terminal or necessarily 
permanent.  A cure could come down the pike and I could be digging 
trenches.  I'm not optomistic but I don't identify with being ill or an 
invalid even though I am pretty damn limited physically.  E. g. on very 
good days can walk 4 blocks, but most days l/2 to 2!  So my spirit would 
be a bit crushed living in such a ghetto.  
Yet I see no other route if I want coho.  That's not to say that's about 
to happen.  None exist for people like me.  

So please in your various communities remember that in all noncoho 
neighborhoods there are people who live alone or in families, people who 
are ill.  They cope. They struggle.  Sometimes they're awfully isolated 
by their illness.  But they manage.  In principal why should they be 
excluded from the chance at coho, I ask myself?  But they/we are.

Please don't let this interrupt the great discussion spawned by the 
reaction to the closing ceremonies.  I really mean this to be thought 
about in connection with what the discussion spawns, back in your 
communities or forming communities.  Or you can email me privately.
This is not meant as a guilt trip and I've held back because of that.

I will post the reaction to my paper when it appears in the CFIDS Chronicle.
But I have given you my reaction.  I bristle at the thought of forming or 
joining an all- illness coho.  But I bristle at the thought of spending so 
much of my time outside the contact of something vital, in the midst of 
urban unconnection.

Judith
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