|Re: parents and kids in cohousing||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Shava Nerad (shavanetwork-services.uoregon.edu)|
|Date: Tue, 2 Jan 1996 12:35:06 -0600|
> Would any of you parents and/or kids out there be able to make a few > comments about the benefits of cohousing? You might want to look up the large amount of material written on kids in kibbutzes in Israel, just as a side reference to your article. The interesting development there, to me as an anthropologist, is the strong tendency to "exogamy" -- marrying "out of the tribe." Many of the kibbutznik kids found that they had feelings of incest taboo against their kibbutz "sibs." Many also found that they were less comfortable with potential mates without kibbutz backgrounds. The result was a sort of tribal exchange of young adults, among neighboring (or otherwise related) kibbutzes. I experienced much the same problem as a Unitarian kid in a small town. My friends in high school, male and female, spent more waking hours (and occasionally others...) in each others' company than with adults, during pre-adolescence and adolescence. This in a "big town" in Vermont of about 8000. As a result, the boy who I was best friends with -- who both sets of parents predicted I would marry -- was more like my brother by the time we were thinking about courtship. The concept of moving into a girl/boy- friend relationship was ridiculous. Hmmm.... Is this reassuring to parents of (to-be-)teenagers in coho situations? ;) So, no direct experience, but some musings about related situations... Shava Shava
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