Re: Dealing with self interest VS what's best for everybody
From: Stuart Staniford-Chen (staniforcs.ucdavis.edu)
Date: Tue, 5 Mar 1996 13:36:30 -0600
On Mon, 4 Mar 1996, Rob Sandelin wrote:

> Lately Sharingwood has run into a situation where we need to resolve a
> couple issues where self interest of individuals bumps against what is
> best for the whole group.  Any advise about how to approach it so people
> admit their self interest in the first place, and then feel comfortable
> about dealing with it?
>

I don't have much that's *very* useful to suggest, but I'll say the  
little I have.

I think it can be helpful if, once in a while, at the beginning of the  
meeting the facilitator reminds everybody that consensus is about finding  
the best path for the group as a whole, rather than for individuals.   
It's probably even more helpful if your agreements about process say that  
explicitly and it was discussed and understood at the outset.

Suppose in a meeting that you feel that somebody is acting out of a  
personal agenda, rather than out of a feeling that their position is the  
best thing for the group to decide.  I think it's important to raise that  
issue explicitly.  Obviously, this has to be done in as supportive and  
caring a way as possible.  My suggestion would be something like "I can  
see that this is a very important issue for you.  I'm wondering if you  
are letting your own needs take precedence over what is best for the  
group as a whole.  Maybe we should all surface our own needs in this  
situation and then discuss what is the best thing for the whole group."   
I think it's better to bring it out in the open and talk about it than  
have everyone sit there fuming until somebody gets mad enough to create a  
confrontation in a much more destructive way.  (Assuming that the issue  
at hand is an
important one and justifies the time spent processing).

I should caution you that I'm not speaking from a place of "I've seen  
this many times and I know how to handle it", but rather from a place of  
"I've struggled with this issue recently, gotten it wrong, and this is  
what I now think"

Stuart

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Stuart Staniford-Chen           |               N St Cohousing
stanifor [at] cohousing.org             |       Cohousing Network Webperson     

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