Re: Dealing with self interest VS what's best for everybody | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: Stuart Staniford-Chen (staniforcs.ucdavis.edu) | |
Date: Tue, 5 Mar 1996 13:36:30 -0600 |
On Mon, 4 Mar 1996, Rob Sandelin wrote: > Lately Sharingwood has run into a situation where we need to resolve a > couple issues where self interest of individuals bumps against what is > best for the whole group. Any advise about how to approach it so people > admit their self interest in the first place, and then feel comfortable > about dealing with it? > I don't have much that's *very* useful to suggest, but I'll say the little I have. I think it can be helpful if, once in a while, at the beginning of the meeting the facilitator reminds everybody that consensus is about finding the best path for the group as a whole, rather than for individuals. It's probably even more helpful if your agreements about process say that explicitly and it was discussed and understood at the outset. Suppose in a meeting that you feel that somebody is acting out of a personal agenda, rather than out of a feeling that their position is the best thing for the group to decide. I think it's important to raise that issue explicitly. Obviously, this has to be done in as supportive and caring a way as possible. My suggestion would be something like "I can see that this is a very important issue for you. I'm wondering if you are letting your own needs take precedence over what is best for the group as a whole. Maybe we should all surface our own needs in this situation and then discuss what is the best thing for the whole group." I think it's better to bring it out in the open and talk about it than have everyone sit there fuming until somebody gets mad enough to create a confrontation in a much more destructive way. (Assuming that the issue at hand is an important one and justifies the time spent processing). I should caution you that I'm not speaking from a place of "I've seen this many times and I know how to handle it", but rather from a place of "I've struggled with this issue recently, gotten it wrong, and this is what I now think" Stuart ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Stuart Staniford-Chen | N St Cohousing stanifor [at] cohousing.org | Cohousing Network Webperson
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Dealing with self interest VS what's best for everybody Rob Sandelin (Exchange), March 4 1996
- Re: Dealing with self interest VS what's best for everybody Loren Davidson, March 5 1996
- Re: Dealing with self interest VS what's best for everybody Monty Berman, March 5 1996
- Re: Dealing with self interest VS what's best for everybody Stuart Staniford-Chen, March 5 1996
- Re: Dealing with self interest VS what's best for everybody Michael John Omogrosso, March 5 1996
- Re: Dealing with self interest VS what's best for everybody DebFlint, March 5 1996
- Re: Dealing with self interest VS what's best for everybody Cohousing-L Listmgr, March 8 1996
- Re: Dealing with self interest VS what's best for everybody Monty Berman, March 11 1996
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