|Re: Pet Policy Request for Help||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Monty Berman (mbermanmailbox.syr.edu)|
|Date: Sun, 13 Oct 1996 12:58:37 -0500|
Dear Corrine, We of the First Resident Group of EcoVillage at Ithaca, who are having the first four of 30 households move in this coming week, are in the midst of working out our own pet agreements---and are finding a lot of emotional stuff coming up, also. The insight I have to offer is that the amount of difficulty around this issue is related to the degree of community building that has, or has not, taken place. Rather than be discouraged by the difficulty, I suggest a view that simply says, "Oh, so that 's how it is with us all. That's where we are emotionlly at with each other (and with OURSELVES!)." Thus, the work as I see it is in the community building that is needed---as against more debate about the pet policy itself. Another way to approach what I'm suggesting is to consider pet policies in terms of individual NEEDS. Getting to the bottom of what specific needs exist beneath individuals' "position" will, in my view, make it easier to address conflicts of needs---as against "I'm right and you're wrong" arguments. In this approach, the work is in creating space in which positions and fears are put aside in order to simply hear one another at deeper levels. The putting aside of positions and fears may require a simple stating of them before participants are available to do this kind of listening. (As I see it, this process in and of itself would constitute an exercise in community building.) As I write this. I'm realizing that, for me, the important thing is to avoid looking for outside suggestions about policies and instead focus on HOW to address the problem---which I believe is implied in your request below. I have concern about "holding forth" here. However, rereading what I have put down does reflect my thinking---and, to some extent, my experience. Monty Berman
Results generated by Tiger Technologies Web hosting using MHonArc.