Re: Why pets and kids are problematic issues in community | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: Stuart Staniford-Chen (staniforcs.ucdavis.edu) | |
Date: Mon, 3 Mar 1997 12:04:49 -0600 |
Rob Sandelin wrote: > Guess what? In community, you will get feedback about your kids, and > sometimes you will not like it. > > Sometimes this feedback comes as a shock to folks and so they react > defensively and with denial: "What?, my little _____ would NEVER do > that. This is where the problems begin. If the group can figure out a > good way to honestly and openly examine and communicate the problems > cleanly, you will be way ahead of the game. I've certainly *seen* this. However, often the person who has the problem sets the situation up that way (and I've certainly *done* this). If you wait till you are mad and then pounce aggressively on the (in your perception) offending parent, the parent is just about certain to be defensive. If you bring the issue up gently and carefully, the parent in question at least has a chance to be flexible and open about it. Incidentally, I strongly recommend Chapter 8 - "Communication Skills" of "Building United Judgement - a Handbook for Consensus Decision Making" for anyone who is facing a difficult episode of feedback or other communication. It's really superb guidance. (The book is $13 from the Community Bookshelf - http://www.crl.com/~eastwind/bookshlf.html). Stuart Staniford-Chen Cohousing Network Web-weaver ex N St Cohousing sort of Marsh Commons Cohousing
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Why pets and kids are problematic issues in community Rob Sandelin, March 2 1997
- Re: Why pets and kids are problematic issues in community Stuart Staniford-Chen, March 3 1997
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