|Re: difficult members||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Mona Loofs (mloofspostoffice.utas.edu.au)|
|Date: Sun, 25 May 1997 19:24:21 -0500|
I have been reading this thread with interest as we have just had a long-running conflict with one member come to a head a few months ago, yet is still not resolved. Without going into too much detail there is one member who really does not understand how to work co-operatively and yet has been a member for a long time and feels entitled to her "share." We are government funded and she decided to use "her" portion of the funding to buy her own house - a good resolution as it stood. Now that we have found some land and the building project looks like it will go ahead she wanted to be involved with it and not buy her own house. We said no. Almost everyone feels personally awful about doing this but it is obviously the best decision for the group. We also decided that it would be ok for her to "re-join" the building project at a later stage, once all the planning and decision-making are out of the way. She is not a bad person and we still want her part of the group but it is incredibly difficult to work through the decision-making process with her. She is understandibly incredibly hurt and angry. Sorry to air our dirty laundry but we are obviously still dealing with the whole thing. We decided to organise a consensus workshop for the group and thought that would be the best way to re-introduce her to meetings, using a common learning situation that we all need. I feel we have made the best decision we could at the time. We are really under a lot of pressure to get the plans/costings in on time so that we can put a bid in for the land before the end of the financial year, otherwise we run the risk of losing our money. We just do NOT have the emotional and time resources to work with one difficult member at the risk of losing the whole project. And she can still use "her" portion of the money to buy her own house and be part of the group, albeit a slightly more peripheral one. She just hasn't found a house she likes yet... The fact we are government-funded adds an extra dimension to the problem as you can see. Are we doing the right thing? I don't suppose Rob you could fly down to Tasmania for a weekend workshop??? We are chasing up local people who could run either a consensus or a conflict resolution workshop (depending on what it turns out we need). Anyway, I'm glad to see it's not just us dealing with these thorny issues!! Mona The Cohousing Cooperative Hobart, Tasmania, Australia
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