RE: Renters
From: Rob Sandelin (
Date: Mon, 9 Feb 1998 22:11:20 -0600
Elanor Asked:
What would you do about a household where one partner is very keen and
has agreed to be on committees,  attend meetings, etc, but the other
partner isn't willing to do any of that? 

My advice is to live with it and accept it. It seems to be somewhat common for 
varying levels of socialiability with spouses. In fact, in seems to be almost 
a pattern. The most social person may be married to someone much less social, 
and so the social parner may get their social outlets from the community. This 
can be a good thing for a couple. Meetings are only one facet of life in 
community and their are many others. (Trust me on this if you are not yet 
living together, there is more to cohousing than meetings)  For instance, a 
very unsocial man in our community (now moved on) would rarely ever attend 
meetings, but was always interested in lending a tool, a helping hand, and 
teaching kids soccer. Get him in a group of more than five and he would clam 
up pretty quick, but in one on one, and particularily in poker games with the 
guys, he was very social.

Another person in our community would never have much to say around men, but 
in groups of women she was the life of the party. People are all very 
different in their social tolerances, and although people do learn new things 
and become different over time, it can be a slow process.

Don't get hung up on meeting participation by individuals. The person who 
abhors large groups may be the perfect person to teach your children how to 

Rob Sandelin
Sharingwood, where today was a glorious sunfull 50 degree day with birds 
singing like it's spring. Ta Da!  

  • Re: Renters, (continued)

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