Cohousing-L Mailing List: concerns about cohousing

[Tonka444 (Tonka444]

My wife has been a cohousing enthusiast for a couple of years now.  I am on
the fence and would appreciate some candid input that might help alleviate (or
confirm) my concerns. Here they are:

1. Lack of privacy.  I'm not antisocial but I like to socialize on my own
terms, when and as often (or little) as I want.  The phrase"intentional
community" sounds ominous to me -- a little like "imposed community."  I'm not
wild about the idea of communal meals (although a couple a week would be ok).
I value freedom, self-reliance, and frequent solitude as a means of spiritual
renewal.  I don't want to be cheek to jowl with my neighbors, even neighbors
that I like.

2. Meetings.  Don't like 'em at work, and there's no reason to think I'd like
them any better at my "home."  The cohousing community that we're looking has
the raw land but there' s a lot of planning to be done to make the project
come to fruition. 
That means lots of weekend meetings.  With the demands of family and work, the
tiny islands of free time available on the weekend are a welcome sanctuary.
I'd hate to lose any of them. 

3. Lack of space (see privacy above).  We don't need 3,500 square feet but
1400 sf (the average sized unit for the development being contemplated) is
smallish.  Yes, I know, you don't need as much private space with the communal
space available, but still. . . .We're a family of four, five on the weekends,
and we need room to breathe.

There are other , more personal concerns (e.g. length of commute) but those
are the primary ones.  I take it they're not unique.  I'd appreciate your
CANDID input because this is a major life change and I want to make sure we're
doing it with open eyes.