Re: Windsong
From: Ray & Lydia Ducharme (
Date: Tue, 12 May 1998 18:36:12 -0500
> your brother-in-law said that "if he had it to do over again, he isn't
> sure he would."  This statement perplexes me.  Would you explain.


I called my brother-in-law (Howard) to ask him if he really meant what he said. 
After some reflection he said he WOULD do it again but would do it differently. 

He said that "next time": 
- he would be more willing to let go of control
- he would trust more
- he wouldn't be so obsessed with doing so much
- he wouldn't feel so personally threatened that it might not succeed
- he wouldn't feel such a need to perform
He said he couldn't see the forest for the trees, and was so wrapped up in
the "end" goal that he didn't stop to appreciate the community building that
came about in the process. 

He said:
- "Building Windsong was the most fufilling thing that I ever did..." 
- "...the biggest dragon I ever slayed".
- "The times that seemed like the darkest hours turned into the brightest

(For example, they were told after they bought the land that the buildable
portion was much smaller than they expected because they couldn't build
close to the creek. They weren't allowed to have a pedestrian street running
between the houses.  It was a terrible disappointment.  BUT the solution was
to build an underground parking lot, with a glass covered street between the
units...a fantastic idea that worked very well!) 

He quoted Zev Paiss as saying "cohousing is the most expensive personal
growth course that you'll ever do".  

Go ahead and use anything that I've written.  I like these comments by Lynn
Nadeau, also on this list: 

> A member in her late seventies went through terminal illness here. At the 
> time there were just a few other families on site, but we took great care 
> of her. One took care of all her finances, power of attorney, bill 
> payments, etc. Another did all her food-coop shopping. Another made soups 
> and organic grains for her. I did all her medical visits, driving her to 
> out-of-town doctor visits, middle-of-the-night emergency room visits, 
> emergency surgery, taking notes on what the doctors said, fetching her 
> prescriptions. A couple of us took turns sleeping on her kitchen floor so 
> she wouldn't be alone in her tiny house when she needed someone there.  
> Her family, though not  far away, was estranged and not helpful. We were 
> her family. We were who sat with her when she was dying. She felt content 
> and cared for.

All the best in your new home!  Lydia

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