Too close for comfort....maybe
From: Tonka444 (
Date: Sun, 17 May 1998 17:23:40 -0500

My husband and I just got back from a weekend retreat given by a cohousing
group we are considering joining. We have been to several business meetings
and this was the first time we were able to relax and get to know the group

The lodge was beautiful and we settled in to enjoy the retreat.

I am a relatively open-minded person and was surprised when I became
uncomfortable at several different times during the weekend.

First was an exercise that was planned for the group. We were each to bring
something to share with the group that was special to us, or tell a special
story. The conversations in that share were very intense and I was told some
very personal things. There were also tears. I felt like I was in a
psychotherapy group rather than looking to join a resident designed
neighborhood. I was going to talk about how I liked my watch!! (which seemed
sort of shallow but I did not want to share my innermost feelings). Luckily my
3 year old had a meltdown and I had to leave.

The other thing is holding hands and singing. I was just a little
uncomfortable about that.  I probably could get used to it but couldn't see
myself eager to do it.

My questions for the group is living in cohousing like being in an
encounter group forever? Do most groups hold hands and sing, etc?? I feel
strange asking this but are there some groups that are less "new-agey" and
more mainstream?? Please understand I do not mean to offend.

On the bright side, there was a lot of fun with the kids, the people were very
kind and supportive, and my kids really had fun!

Any advice would be appreciated.


The one who squirmed.

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