|Too close for comfort...maybe||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Sharon Villines (SharonVillinesprodigy.net)|
|Date: Mon, 18 May 1998 09:49:35 -0500|
The point made this morning that at a retreat one cannot pick and choose is a good one. On site, one can say this isn't an issue I can help with or this is one I can help with. Those of us who are more action and results focused can handle the feelings that erupt around a physical emergency or a death or a job loss, but go bonkers in an 8 hour session about utopian fantasies. I do not yet live in cohousing but have been working in and around groups since the early 70s. My experience is that many people are not only ill informed or ill trained in dealing with groups, but that there is a deeply held belief that things don't change. That you have to protect your own turf as best you can and search out friends who are just like you. What attracted me to cohousing (after giving up on a lot of alternative ideas) was the trust I felt in the intelligent functioning of all the groups I explored. That there is so much information sharing and informed decision-making going on in individual groups and in the movement as a whole on everything from dog runs to resolving conflict. The practice of using trained facilitators is intelligent and results oriented. The groups are willing to engage until a problem or issue is worked through in whatever way the persons having the problem need. Or realistically assessing the situation as this is one we just can handle alone. Or admitting that as a group we have chosen a different direction--we reached consensus on having no purple buildings or we are all very work focused and need hired gardeners and cleaning people. The willingness to work it through is what builds community. And architecture, sharing, group rules, etc, are only helpful if they facilitate this willingness. Sharon Villines, Manhattan Archives of Detective Fiction, http://www.fictionlibrary.org Deadly Serious Press, http://www.deadlyserious.com Synergy Cohousing, Delray Beach, FL http://www.cohousing.net
Re: Too close for comfort...maybe Joani Blank, May 18 1998
- Too close for comfort...maybe Sharon Villines, May 18 1998
Results generated by Tiger Technologies Web hosting using MHonArc.