Re: I'm Frustrated
From: Matt Lawrence (
Date: Wed, 8 Jul 1998 23:08:08 -0500
On Wed, 8 Jul 1998, Michael Mariner wrote:

> I see a contradiction between #1 and #2 - You strongly want to save 
> energy in the homes and then waste energy with a huge common house, 
> swimming pool, etc.

Why would a large common house be energy inefficient?  Why should I not
want a very comfortable place to socialize?  I enjoy swimming and I know
that almost all children really enjoy a pool.  Why should it have to be a
special expedition for the youngsters to go swimming?
> Re #2, your group would have to be incredibly rich to include an 
> expensive amenity if only one person wants it like the stable, for 
> instance. In cohousing you usually need several people to want something 
> for it to be included in the final plan.

One person right now.  How many people  by thee time it comes to actually
plan it.  Plus, the construction cost can be very low.

> Then between #2 and #3 - which is your higher value? -  to have luxuries 
> or to allow more diversity? Other folks suggested ways to have it both 
> ways, but it seems to me if only one $80K house is cramping everybody 
> else's style you have to point them to the modular homes or the condo 
> complex down the street.

The "leader" of the group railroaded the decision.  I doubt if I will
continue with this project.

> Obviously with such contrasting values compromises have to be worked out. 

Yes, voting with my feet is an option.

> Matt, I agree that one of the benefits of cohousing is to be able to 
> afford more amenities than we could each afford on our own. But it 
> appears to me from the above paragraph that you would be happier living 
> in a plush condo project or a gated luxury community where you wouldn't 
> have to make the compromises that go into creating and maintaining a 
> community.

Not hardly.  I'm much more likely to buy my own land, build a house and
workshop and live alone.  It's a distant second choice, but I can't stand
most "condo" commmunities and I would be very out of place in a "luxury
community" -- I like to build thing with my hands and I hate golf.
> I suggest you reread your paragraph above - look how many sentences begin 
> with "my" and "I WANT" and "I insist." Frankly, it seems to me you 
> haven't learned that the essence of living in community is beginning more 
> sentences with "we" and fewer sentences with "I."

"The needs of the many"?  Sorry, doesn't exactly work for me.  If a
community is not interested in building the sort of place I want to live
in why should I be there?  I don't see you living in an ashram.  A number
of your wants and needs are being met by the community you live it.  Why
should I settle for less?

> >I really want to live in cohousing, but, so far, I'm striking out.
> The reason you're striking out is you haven't learned how to be a team 
> player. Listen to the batting coach. Watch for signs from the 3rd base 
> coach. Talk to other batters.

Bad analogy.  The decision was made to try to build a community that I'm
not interested in.  And I seriously doubt that they will hit that price
point.  I have some clue as to building costs.

-- Matt

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