Re: I'm Frustrated-decision making process
From: lilbert (
Date: Thu, 9 Jul 1998 12:22:40 -0500
I think it's off putting when people criticise each other on this list 
instead of help, which is what you asked for. I just hope you don't get 
put off the idea entirely by one inept group. (and the sometimes 
self-righteous in this group) Sounds like they have some serious 
groundwork issues to work out before making decisions on what amenities 
you will have. Geez, you have to decide *how* to make decisions before 
you can make them! Your group is cart-before-the-horse in a big way. It 
doesn't bode well, and I would leave if they are unwilling to change 
their focus. It is one of our taboo subjects, but lots of groups fail, 
and this one seems headed in that direction.  If the group process were 
working properly, you never would have had your needs disregarded in this 
way. They may have even changed your mind, if you had all become a 
trusting community BEFORE you had tried to decide on things that, later, 
will seem lots less important than you can imagine now!
Every group is different, and cohousing is worth it, even if you stumble 
at first. There are people who have belonged to more than one group, who 
are living "the dream" now. Don't give up if it's what you really want.
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