|About pets again||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Rob Sandelin (floriferousemail.msn.com)|
|Date: Thu, 26 Nov 1998 10:22:55 -0600|
One of the discomforts and the joys about living in a community is that you will get real feedback about things which in non-community settings is very rarely done. Few people will ever tell you directly that your dog or child is annoying them, but in community, this should happen. Now you need a whole new set of personal skills which you may not have ever thought about much, how to give and receive feedback in a constructive way. You also need to salt those feedback skills with some perspective awareness. For instance, for about 3 weeks, about once or twice a week one of my neighbors would find dog crap in her yard. Since dogs are not supposed to be running loose, and the expectation is that dog owners clean up after their pets, each time my neighbor would get a little more angry about it. But instead of dealing with it, she just bottled it up. Then on that fated day, another neighhbor with a very nice dog came into her yard, and the dog lifted its leg and....my neighbor went ballistic, all the pent up anger came rushing out at the poor hapless dog and it became a large, although rather one-sided conflict. Wow! How that reverberated through the community. It became the dog wars, and fortunately some of the more level headed people in the group own dogs and it all got resolved. However that event is still event in how people who have dogs approach this ladies yard, or not approach it as the case may be. So it is a wise choice to make ways to encourage people to share their issues and problems so they don't bottle up on you. Dogs and kids are the number one and two cause of conflicts in the communities movement as a whole. So might want to be a little more sensitive to those issues. Rob Sandelin Sharingwood Where we have a pet policy that works. its at http://www.wisechat.com/sharingwood
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