About pets again
From: Rob Sandelin (floriferousemail.msn.com)
Date: Thu, 26 Nov 1998 10:22:55 -0600
One of the discomforts and the joys about living in a community is that you
will get real feedback about things which in non-community settings is very
rarely done. Few people will ever tell you directly that your dog or child
is annoying them, but in community, this should happen.

Now you need a whole new set of personal skills which you may not have ever
thought about much, how to give and receive feedback in a constructive way.

You also need to salt those feedback skills with some perspective awareness.
For instance, for about 3 weeks, about once or twice a week one of my
neighbors would find dog crap in her yard. Since dogs are not supposed to be
running loose, and the expectation is that dog owners clean up after their
pets, each time my neighbor would get a little more angry about it. But
instead of dealing with it, she just bottled it up. Then on that fated day,
another neighhbor with a very nice dog came into her yard, and the dog
lifted its leg and....my neighbor went ballistic,  all the pent up anger
came rushing out at the poor hapless dog and it became a large, although
rather one-sided conflict. Wow! How that reverberated through the community.
It became the dog wars, and fortunately some of the more level headed people
in the group own dogs and it all got resolved.
However that event is still event in how people who have dogs approach this
ladies yard, or not approach it as the case may be.

So it is a wise choice to make ways to encourage people to share their
issues and problems so they don't bottle up on you. Dogs and kids are the
number one and two cause of conflicts in the communities movement as a
whole. So might want to be a little more sensitive to those issues.

Rob Sandelin
Sharingwood
Where we have a pet policy that works. its at
http://www.wisechat.com/sharingwood


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