Re: Coho Dining Resource Guide
From: S. Hamer (shamer_excite.com)
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 1998 07:04:35 -0600
I don't know if this group has seen this, but it is "something to chew on"
when discussing cohousing dining. I especially like the part about
screaming.

Household Principles for Children from the Old Testament

Laws of Forbidden Places

Of the beasts of the field, and of the
fishes of the sea, and of all foods that are acceptable in my sight
you may eat, but not in the living room.

Of the hoofed animals, broiled or ground into burgers, you may eat, but
not in the living room.

Of the cloven-hoofed animal, plain or with cheese, you may
eat, but not in the living room.

Of the cereal grains, of the corn and of the wheat and of the oats, and
of all the cereals that are of bright color and unknown provenance you
may eat, but not in the living room.

Of quiescently frozen dessert and of all frozen
after-meal treats you may eat, but absolutely not in the living room.

Of the juices and other beverages, yes, even of those in sippy-cups,
you may drink, but not in the living room, neither may you carry
such therein.  Indeed, when you reach the place where the living room
carpet begins, of any food or beverage there you may not eat,
neither may you drink.  But if you are sick, and are lying down and
watching something, then may you eat in the living room.

Laws When at Table (Lev. II 4:24)

And if you are seated in your high chair, or in a chair such as a
greater person might use, keep your legs and feet below you as they
were.

Neither raise up your knees, nor place your feet upon the table, for
that is an abomination to me.

Yes, even when you have an interesting bandage to show, your feet upon
the table are an abomination, and worthy of rebuke.

Drink your milk as it is given you, neither use on it any utensils, nor
fork, nor knife, nor spoon, for that is not what they are for; if you
will dip your blocks in the milk, and lick it off, verily, you will be
sent away.

When you have drunk, let the empty cup then remain upon the table, and
do not bite it upon its edge and by your teeth hold it to your face in
order to make noises in it sounding even like a duck or a Philistine:
for ye shall be sent away.

When you chew your food, keep your mouth closed until you have
swallowed, and do not open it to show your brother or your sister what
bounty is there within; I say to you, do not so, even if your brother or

your sister hath done the same to you.

Eat your food only; do not eat that which is not food; neither seize the

table between your jaws, nor use the raiment of the table to wipe your
lips. I say again to you, do not touch it, but leave it as it is.

And though your stick of carrot does indeed resemble a marker, draw not
with it upon the table, even in pretend, for we do not do that, that is
why.

And though the pieces of broccoli are very like small trees, do not
stand them upright to make a forest, because we do not do that, that is
why.

Sit just as I have told you, and do not lean to one side or the other,
nor slide down until you are nearly slid away. Heed me; for if you sit
like that, your hair will go into the syrup. And now behold, even as I
have said, it has come to pass.

Laws Pertaining to Dessert (Lev II 4:32)

For we judge between the plate that is unclean and the plate that is
clean, saying first, if the plate is clean, then you shall have dessert.



But of the unclean plate, the laws are these:

If you have eaten most of your meat, and two bites of your peas with
each bite consisting of not less than three peas each, or in total six
peas, eaten where I can see, and you have also eaten enough of your
potatoes to fill two forks, both forkfuls eaten where I can see, then
you shall have dessert.

But if you eat a lesser number of peas, and yet you eat the potatoes,
still you shall not have dessert; and if you eat the peas, yet leave the

potatoes uneaten, you shall not have dessert, no, not even a small
portion thereof.

And if you try to deceive by moving the potatoes or peas around with a
fork, that it may appear you have eaten what you have not, you will fall

into iniquity. And I will know, and you shall have no dessert.

On Screaming (Lev II 7:4)

Do not scream; for it is as if you scream all the time.

If you are given a plate on which two foods you do not wish to touch
each other are touching each other, your voice rises up even to the
heavens, while you point to the offense with the finger of your right
hand; but I say to you, scream not, only remonstrate gently with the
server, that the server may correct the fault.

Likewise if you receive a portion of fish from which every piece of
herbal seasoning has not been scraped off, and the herbal seasoning is
loathsome to you and steeped in vileness, again I say, refrain from
screaming.

Though the vileness overwhelm you, and cause you a faint unto death,
make not that sound from within your throat, neither cover your face,
nor press your fingers to your nose. For even not I have made the fish
as it should be; behold, I eat it myself, yet do not die.

Concerning Face and Hands (Lev. II 7:12)

Cast your countenance upward to the light, and lift your eyes to the
hills, that I may more easily wash you off. For the stains are upon you;

even to the very back of your head, there is rice thereon. And in the
breast pocket of your garment, and upon the tie of your shoe, rice and
other fragments are distributed in a manner wonderful to behold. Only
hold yourself still; hold still, I say. Give each finger in its turn for

my examination thereof, and also each thumb. Lo, how iniquitous they
appear. What I do is as it must be; and you shall not go hence until I
have done.

Various Other Laws, Statutes, and Ordinances

Bite not, lest you be cast into quiet time. (Lev II 1:17)

Neither drink of your own bath water, nor of the bath water of any kind;

nor rub your feet on bread, even if it be in the package; nor rub
yourself against cars, not against any building; nor eat sand. (Lev II
3:13)

Leave the cat alone, for what has the cat done, that you should so
afflict it with tape? (Lev II 14:9)

And hum not the humming in your nose as I read, nor stand between the
light and the book. Indeed, you will drive me to madness. (Lev II 14:18)



Nor forget what I said about the tape. (Lev II 14:11)

Complaints and Lamentations (Lev II 23:7)

O my children, you are disobedient. For when I tell you what you must
do, you argue and dispute hotly even to the smallest detail; and when I
do not accede, you cry out, and hit and kick. Yes, and even sometime do
you spit, and shout "stupid-head" and other blasphemies that are
wickedness and vile to my ears, and hit and kick the wall and the
molding thereof when you are sent to the corner. And though the law
teaches that no one shall be sent to the corner for more minutes than he

has years of age, yet I would leave you there all day, so mighty am I in

anger.

But upon being sent to the corner you ask straight-away, "Can I come
out?" and I reply, "No, you may not come out." And again you ask, and
again I give the same reply. But when you ask again a third time, then
you may come out.

Hear me, O my children, for the bills they slay me as I were a beast of
the fields. I pay and pay again, even to the twelfth time in a year, and

yet again they mount higher than before. For our health, that we may be
covered, I give six hundred and twenty talents twelve times in a year;
but even this covers not the fifteen hundred deductible for each member
of the family within a calendar year. And yet for ordinary visits we
still are not covered, nor for many medicines, nor for the teeth within
our mouths. Guess not at what rage is in my mind, for surely you cannot
know. For I will come to you at the first of the month and at the
fifteenth of the month with the bills and a great whining and moan. And
when the month of taxes comes, I will decry the wrong and unfairness of
it, and mourn with wine and ashtrays, and rend my receipts.

And you shall remember that I am that I am: before, after, and until you

are twenty-one or even until you leave this tent of your parents.

Hear me then, and avoid me in my wrath, O children of mine.

Sharon Hamer
Hopkinton Middle/High School LibraryMedia Center
88 Hayden Rowe St.
Hopkinton, Massachusetts 01748
508-497-9820  (Fax) 508-497-9829




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