Re: remedies for yelling arguments
From: Stuart Staniford-Chen (
Date: Wed, 25 Aug 1999 13:48:22 -0600 (MDT)

Victoria wrote:
> We at Trillium Hollow in Portland are trying to a bunch of community =
> building things to increase camaraderie and good communication skills.  =
> MEANWHILE, what to do when people have loud angry yelling name calling =
> swearing arguments in front of all, and ignore requests to take it =
> inside?  We have been advised not to sweep it under the rug.  I agree, =
> but how to approach these people?  Please don't say sharing circles, =
> these haven't been particularly helpful in the past - and those involved =
> don't always show up.

I am also very interested in this issue.  I have mediated disputes and
facilitated meetings at a community which has a significant problem with
inappropriate expressions of anger by some individuals.  While they have
agreed to guidelines governing such behaviour, they are not always
emotionally capable of keeping those commitments.  I have a good deal of
empathy and concern for the individuals involved, but it still seems to me
very damaging to the group culture to allow those kinds of behaviours to
continue.  But I'm not sure of the best way of handling it when it happens. 
I'd be very interested in successful approaches (ie ones that made a lasting
improvement and did not involve any of the parties moving out).


Stuart Staniford-Chen --- President --- Silicon Defense
                   stuart [at]
(707) 822-4588                     (707) 826-7571 (FAX)

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