RE: COHOUSING-L digest 124
From: Ruddick, T.R. (
Date: Mon, 30 Aug 1999 13:35:36 -0600 (MDT)
Sharon responded to me in the quote copied below--I wanted to clarify that I
originally posted that you say "chill" to a person only as a cue.  It
doesn't have to be "chill" specifically, it could be a gesture, touch,
whatever.  In one relationship I have, the signal is for me to pat the other
person on the shoulder].

To use this sort of cue, (1) you have a good personal relationship and lots
of trust (2) you've got to set up the cue [word, gesture, facial expression,
etc.] in advance and with the agreement of the other person.

I agree that "chill" would tend to frustrate people who didn't trust you
especially, or who hadn't agreed beforehand that it's the right signal to
use.  But in the right context it could work.

"TR"    Thomas E. Ruddick, associate prof.
              Edison Community College, Piqua OH 45356
                Veni, Vidi, Curcurri!

> -----Original Message-----
> To say "Chill" to someone who is expressing their own very deep feelings
> is
> like saying "put it in the closet."
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