|Re: Musings on polyamory thread||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: RowenaHC (RowenaHCcs.com)|
|Date: Thu, 21 Oct 1999 07:20:19 -0600 (MDT)|
There seem to be two opposing ideas running through this thread. The first is whether it is anybody's business who is sleeping with whom, and most people would say "no, if they keep it to themselves." This is the "I don't care what they do so long as they don't do it in the street and frighten the horses" school of thought. Unfortunately, it is very difficult to be totally discreet, and many people who indulge are really rather pleased with themselves and choose to "accidentally" let the cat out of the bag. After all, our perverse culture gives bragging rights to sexual athletes! The second is whether adultery (let's call a spade a spade folks) is likely to lead to increased closeness and community. Those of us who lived through the 60s/70s, when this kind of activity was given a liberal political gloss, will likely agree that the answer is: absolutely not. I know from experience that this kind of philandering (as opposed to institutionalized polygamy or polyandy) leads to a break down of trust and withdrawal of closeness in a community more often than not. And, of course, it leads to considerable anxiety on the part of children who generally disapprove of anything that lessens ties of parents to each other. And, yes, it is quite likely to lead to divorce. I also happen to agree, based on life experience not TV, that adultery is generally male driven, although there are some exceptions, of course. Guess I'm showing my age. My answer back in the 60s before I seen the results of adultery would likely have been quite different!
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