Fw: resisting neighbours: feeling part of vs. feeling excluded (in plain text)
From: Hans Tilstra (tilstrasmartchat.net.au)
Date: Tue, 21 Dec 1999 15:58:09 -0700 (MST)
What struck me about the perception of those opposing the retrofit, was not
so much the rationalisations, but more an undercurrent of inclusion &
exclusion. From my observations as an armchair cohouser, there is a pattern
of resistance prior to the establishment of cohousing in the literature.
Yet, there is also a pattern of acceptance afterwards.

A recent article in Time (DECEMBER 20, 1999 VOL. 154 NO. 25) posted on the
web included the following:

"...Immediate neighbors often oppose cohousing proposals but tend to come
around once the homes are built. "It's pretty cool," says Ken Tate, 40, who
lives across the street from Southside Park. "More neighborhoods should
group together like that." Although drug deals go down daily on the sagging
porches and litter-strewn sidewalks that surround Southside, no one has ever
broken into one of its houses. There are too many watchful eyes. "


I am curious about the image of the group getting together. As my partner
points out every time we have a cohousing meeting; the associations, the
images are much more powerful than rational arguments. If someone at a
meeting appears to be freeriding, or appears to dress in an unfashionable
way, that carries a lot of clout. It's not hard to find a rational
explanation (vs. the blunt comment about someone) to avoid being argued
down.

I imagine that in your position you are well placed to articulate what
people may be thinking on either side. In my experience that helps reduce
the defensiveness that seems to come with not feeling heard.

wish you well,

Hans Tilstra
Melbourne, Australia
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