|Re: inputs & outputs of cohousing life||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Jim Snyder-Grant (jimsgnewview.org)|
|Date: Thu, 8 Jun 2000 18:06:00 -0600 (MDT)|
Hans was asking about energy in/out ratios after living in coho for a while. Here's a perspective after 4 years at New View in Acton Mass USA (some have lived here almost 6 years) Well, the biggest change is that we are no longer in a roller coaster, no longer running an intensive risky business together in which the stakes mean losing a bunch of money & falling behind on acheiving a big big dream for many years. With the intensity & risk level down, there's more chance for the subtleties to emerge: the slower process of building lasting friendships, which includes finding ways to acknowledge & cope with differences & awkwardnesses & getting irritated & making up. Which also includes time (especially in year one) to withdraw & cocoon for a while at home, to recover from the intensity. Then, after that, people came out of their shells as if it was Spring, and each starting finding the way they wanted to participate in the community. Out of that, the deepening 'valley' experiences of everyday life, rather than the 'peak' experiences of the roller coaster days. Very nice. With most participation feeling optional, most people have found a way that doesn't feel a lot like 'putting in' or 'taking out', its more like getting some pleasure and some growth from the process of finding a way to serve the community. It definitely doesn't feel like a political party, and I only serve on the committees that I find congenial. If work doesn't get done, we let it slide, or find some way of making it appealing to someone, or decide to pay for it. I think the basic self-selection has already happened so that most of the poeple are well-suited for coho & are having a good time. The one's who aren't are also typically not enjoying the rest of their lives either, unfortunately. There's also the expectations thing you mentioned: There have definitely been periods, for most of us, when overly lofty expectations got dashed, and so followed the usual blues until letting go. -Jim, where I'm far enough from development that I now enjoy giving tours to nascent coho groups & sharing perspectives & helping them experience a dose of their dream, awake & alive.
Re: inputs & outputs of cohousing life Hans Tilstra, June 1 2000
- Re: inputs & outputs of cohousing life Jim Snyder-Grant, June 8 2000
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