|Re: relationship issues||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Hans Tilstra (tilstrasmartchat.net.au)|
|Date: Tue, 27 Jun 2000 18:11:41 -0600 (MDT)|
>From the discussion it sounds like cohousing, at times, is rich in relationship issues. Here's a checklist: - does the community make you feel good about yourself? - do you reasonably value in the community the same things other members do? - can you be honest with one another without using manipulation or game playing? - can you get angry with one another without thinking less of yourself or others? - can you accept one another instead of planning a few changes? - is the community's behaviour consistent with its words? do the actions show care? - are you able to share moments of weakness, failure and dissappointment? - can you live a happy, full life without the community? is the community the cream in your coffee rather than the whole coffeepot? - if you left tomorrow, would you still be glad you spent time in this community? - can you bear to disappoint the community when your own needs come first? If another member does the same, can you accept it? If you answer "yes" to only a few of these questions, then it might be an idea to look elsewhere. If you can honestly answer "yes" to a lot of these questions, then I imagine you'll have found a home! The questions have been only slightly altered work by Dr Fred Grosse, a Phoenix based gestalt therapist.... ;-) Hans
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