Re: Problematic Controlling Personalities and Cohousing
From: Matt Lawrence (matttechnoronin.com)
Date: Wed, 1 Nov 2000 11:34:23 -0700 (MST)
On Wed, 1 Nov 2000 Tonka444 [at] aol.com wrote:

>     We have a problem.  Interpersonal conflicts are starting to cause 
> problems within our process.  When you are sitting in a meeting, and one 
> member is fuming inside at another, the whole group feels it.  Then we have 
> one or two members who try to dominate the entire group....going off on their 
> own tangents without the group's consent and this too is creating conflict.  

Honest communinication is really tough for Americans.  Our culture also
encourages all sorts of competative behaviour, leading to dominance games. 
I know that I walked away from one cohousing group when I felt that they
were being less than honest with themselves and when one person basically
told me to "sit down and shut up".  There's another group that I am an
associate member where I have more expertise in one small area of the
design and construction than anyone else.  I've been ignored.  This has
hurt my feelings very badly.

Learn to communicate.  Learn and truly understand that a cohousing
community doesn't have to be based on the economics of scarcity where for
one person to get what they want, somebody else has to give up something.

And more than anything else, learn how to be honest with yourself.

-- Matt


Results generated by Tiger Technologies Web hosting using MHonArc.