|Community work and conflict||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Rob Sandelin (floriferousmsn.com)|
|Date: Tue, 30 Jan 2001 09:07:51 -0700 (MST)|
In my experience, one of the most common conflict areas is over work. There is usually a lot of work that could be done in any cohousing group, and often there is a range of involvement, with a few people having lots of time and involvement, and others having little. This range, while normal, is the root of resentments that cause unnecessary conflicts. A good technique is to poll the group about their level of resentment around work and see what you learn. Sometimes resentment is only held by one or two individuals, and then it is their work to resolve that, often by scaling back on their own contributions to make space for others. If resentment is broad-based, you then can have a larger group discussion about expectations, with a goal of understanding where expectations come from, what they are, and how reasonable they are. This can lead to some great understandings of personal style differences which come from the way we were raised. It can also be helpful to clarify terms like "clean" when talking about the common spaces. There is often a wide range of interpretations about that concept. Also understanding the differences in self motivation and self confidence is helpful, some folks can take on tasks without needing to be told, others need guidance and support. Each has a different approach to doing work. As I have written several times before, if all the tasks get done, but people are unhappy, resentful and grumbling it may be the wrong approach. Instead of asking is this fair, maybe a better question is: what are the things I do here that make me happy and how can I do more of those? Rob Sandelin -----Original Message----- From: cohousing-l [at] freedom2.mtn.org [mailto:cohousing-l [at] freedom2.mtn.org]On Behalf Of Racheli&John Sent: Monday, January 29, 2001 12:51 PM To: Multiple recipients of list Subject: Re: Sharing activities: Was size and management companies ** Reply to note from floriferous [at] msn.com Mon, 29 Jan 2001 12:50:42 -0600 >From Racheli I agree that a group should prioritize what they want to do with their time - as a group. I would like, though, to suggest that doing things for ourselves (as opposed to hiring someone to do it for us) can be a source of satisfaction. One of the major ways to determine what should be done in-house, is to find out whether there is a person, or persons, who are interested in doing the particular job in question. If a group has someone who just loves doing accounting-type work (don't ask me why :)) then there is no reason to hire someone to do it. If everybody hates to do this sort of stuff, then it might make sense to pay to get the job done. R.
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