Re: Helping out an "outsider"
From: Elizabeth Stevenson (
Date: Wed, 6 Jun 2001 17:05:02 -0600 (MDT)
Okay. Here's my real opinion. It's improper netiquette to ask a question 
unless you've already looked at the archives. It's like that on most lists.
However, since things change and people come and go, we often discuss the
same issues because new information and new people come to the list. (This
list is FAR more lenient and polite than most lists.) No problem. However,
we just discussed this at length a very short time ago, and I think it's
only polite to look first and then ask for information if you can't find it
in the archives.

And yes, I think it's perfectly reasonable to require a little more effort
from someone not on the list. I write to the list because I want to help the
cohousing movement. That's what this list is for.

As for my reply to the list, I thought it was better for me to say why I was
not answering than to ignore you. I wish you had given me the benefit of the
doubt. I have put alot of time and effort into this list over the years. I'd
like to be able to say something that's not entirely positive without
getting slammed for being "offensive".

Liz Stevenson
Southside Park Cohousing
Sacramento, California

tamgoddess [at]
>From: Racheli&John <jnpalme [at]>
>To: cohousing-l [at]
>Subject: [C-L]_Helping out an "outsider"
>Date: Wed, Jun 6, 2001, 5:54 PM

> ** Reply to note from "Elizabeth Stevenson" <tamgoddess [at]> Tue, 05
> Jun 2001 20:33:04 +0000
> From Racheli
> Hi Liz,
> You wrote:
>> Sorry to be curt, but it's frustrating to say the
>> same stuff over again, especially for someone not involved on the list.
> Well, I do find your response somewhat offensive.  For starters:
> why are you frustrated? - If you don't want to respond, don't.
> As to the guy not being on the list, why should that make such
> a difference? Are we keeping all our kindness for coho people?
> As it happens, he is on the Green building listing, and has often
> been very generous in helping other people out - whether they are on
> that list or not.  It seems like a good example to follow, but certainly
> nobody is forcing you to do it against your will.
> R.
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