RE: have kids" "have nots" fighting over site | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: Eris Weaver (eriswsonic.net) | |
Date: Sat, 9 Jun 2001 08:03:01 -0600 (MDT) |
At one point our group had gotten stuck over a particular site -- some folks wanted it, others hated it, etc. (It was actually an existing condo complex but in a neighborhood some thought was too funky.) It met many of the criteria that we had agreed upon -- what town, etc. What turned us around: re-framing the question not to "do *I* want to live on this site?" to "is it in the best interests of THE GROUP to pursue this site?" We immediately went from about 50/50 to FULL CONSENSUS that we should pursue it. (Unfortunately it had already been sold.) Rob Sandelin was instrumental in helping us re-frame it that way -- we had him up for a workshop, which I highly recommend! Remember, consensus means giving permission, NOT we all totally agree on this. It also sounds like it might be time for your group to split into two or more. Let the folks who like the current site go for it, and split the others off into a second group. When we decided to pursue that condo complex, we lost some folks. THIS IS OK AND A NORMAL PART OF GROUP EVOLUTION. It was a hard decision to make, partly because one of the people who left had been a major leader in the group. It is scary to contemplate moving forward on a site when your group is smaller -- BUT once you have a site it is actually easier to get more members because the whole thing is more concrete. When we found out that the complex had been sold, we spent a lot of time getting much clearer about where we wanted to be. Once we found our current site, the size of our group magically doubled. Once we got our designs done, it doubled again. We are now full with a waiting list, and haven't even broken ground yet. AND some of the people who left earlier have come back! ********************************************************** Eris Weaver erisw [at] sonic.net SoCoHo http://www.sonic.net/~erisw/socoho.html Sonoma County, Northern California _______________________________________________ Cohousing-L mailing list Cohousing-L [at] cohousing.org Unsubscribe and other info: http://www.communityforum.net/mailman/listinfo/cohousing-l
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RE: have kids" "have nots" fighting over site Eris Weaver, June 9 2001
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Deciding on a site Rob Sandelin, June 10 2001
- Re: Social connectedness campaign Hans Tilstra, June 11 2001
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Deciding on a site Rob Sandelin, June 10 2001
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