Re: What is a family?
From: Molly Williams (mmwwaveinter.com)
Date: Sun, 23 Sep 2001 17:31:02 -0600 (MDT)
I agree with Stephanie's comments about family and diversity. We are
a family consisting of a married couple and 2 aged dogs, and we have
a lot to offer to our closest neighbours -- 2 female partners who
have two young adopted sons -- including babysitting, different
viewpoints and lifestyles, a male's viewpoint and strengths,
tea-party hosting for the kids and adults, lots of kids' books and
videos, and mostly, our unhurried time. 

A small year-round island off Portland, Maine, was advertising a
couple of years ago for "families" (meaning, with children), and I
remember my feeling of disappointment then that we were being
excluded and were unwanted in a community on the basis of our
decision not to have children. Seems short-sighted. Like Stephanie,
I can understand wanting playmates for kids, but please keep in mind
that playmates -- and other important people in kids' lives -- don't
always have to be the same age as the kids.

~ Molly Wms. (Maine)

Stephanie Weigel wrote:
> 
> After reading the email from the group in Arizona, who are trying to decide
> whether to open up some recently available homes in their communities to
> "families", I was somewhat uneasy when I came to realize that by familes
> they meant "people with children".  I consider myself, my 2 dogs, and 2
> cats, a family.  This is how we are constituted now, but we also include
> the potential for additions down the road -- children, a partner, heaven
> help us more dogs or cats, or maybe a good friend would decide to join the
> family and we might live together as a functioning unit.  None of us really
> knows what the future holds.
> 
> I recognize that people with children are eager to have playmates for their
> children in community. It also seems that lots of cohousing discussion
> centers around attracting "diversity".  I would offer that diversity
> includes diversity of family strucutures.  Who knows what some of the
> people who might join in one of those 3 available units might have to
> offer?  Sometimes it seems it may be wise to trust the process of the
> universe to bring those to us that are maybe meant to be there.
> 
> This is in no way meant to critisize the Milagro (great name!) folks,
> recognizing that they like all communities are working to do what is best
> for their group. Rather, in these scary times it seems important to me as a
> single person to ask for inclusive consideration rather than exclusion.  I
> am also interested in others' ideas of what a "family" is.
> 
> Peace.
> 
> Stephanie Weigel
> sjweigel [at] students.wisc.edu
> Madison, WI
> Troy Gardens Cohousing (a community in formation)
>
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