Sexually Diverse
From: Sharon Villines (
Date: Thu, 31 Jan 2002 08:14:01 -0700 (MST)
In stable communities (like cohousing) sexual activity is usually (?)
private. Who one does or does not engage in sexual activity with is less
important than where (in the commonhouse?) and who else it upsets (the other
spouse?). But this applies to ALL activities and beliefs.

I often feel offended by political activists in cohousing because this is my
home -- I don't want political action calls thrust in my face when I'm
eating or relaxing or working unless it is an immediate emergency.

Public behavior is that which is open to the other people present. Exclusive
behaviors are exclusive and flaunting them in the faces of non-participants
is likely to create discomfort anywhere.

If you have a relationship you are comfortable with, and you aren't
expecting everyone to join you in that relationship, go to the group
meetings and see if you are comfortable there. You may be uncomfortable for
reasons completely unrelated to who your life partner is (or what kind of
sex you do or do not participate in)..

AND people change. Half the people I know who are in same sex relationships
got there after happy, sometimes very long, "conventional" marriages.
Multiple relationships often develop between friends after years of living
near each other. Most people just respect the relationships of others and
assume that the sexual nature of the relationship is their private business.

Sharon Villines
Takoma Village Cohousing, Washington DC

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