Subject: [C-L]_Sexually Diverse
From: George Marx (
Date: Thu, 31 Jan 2002 18:18:01 -0700 (MST)
Sharon and Others,

I find the words such as:

"In stable communities (like cohousing) sexual activity is usually (?) 
private. Who one does or does not engage in sexual activity with is less 
important than where (in the commonhouse?) and who else it upsets (the other 
spouse?). But this applies to ALL activities and beliefs." simplistic and
it bothers me also.

Defining Gay/Lesbian/Bi/Transgendered people by "sexual activity" or using
such words raises issues for me.  Het people - myself included often
"flaunt our heterosexuality" holding hands, kissing in "inappropriate ways"
in public.  Separating where one is pushing one's beliefs upon others from
simply being oneself in "normal" ways is not so simple - always - for me to

My guess is that where we as groups (including cohousing groups) have Out
GLBT people who feel comfortable being themselves we are more likely to
have an accepting environment for others.   Where we must hide big parts of
who we are as Any Self-Identified "minority", we are not likely to feel

Sometimes we must compromise our basic beliefs - e.g. - I heard of Pleasant
Hill Cohousing - having some Christians wanting a Christmas tree in their
common house - while non-Christians didn't want it.  They worked it out!
Having to hide - who we may be - isn't something we should compromise on or
want to compromise on.

We also need to recognize that we all have blinders - often related to who
we may be such as (usually), White, Upper-Middle Class, Euro-Americans,
often Het, etc.   We often want "diversity" which doesn't threaten many of
our presumptions - The Black Family that is "Oreo" - being the most
stereotypic example.  Being the parent of a young teenager - alone - helps
me start to see some of my own prejudices - becoming "old" etc.

Thanks! George Marx, Alameda, California

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