Kids' food at Common House Meals -- Joani Blank
From: Fred H Olson (fholsoncohousing.org)
Date: Wed, 20 Feb 2002 11:08:00 -0700 (MST)
Joani Blank <joani [at] swansway.com>
is the author of the message below. 
It was posted by Fred the Cohousing-L list manager <fholson [at] cohousing.org> 
because the message included HTML ;      PLEASE do not post HTML, see
   http://csf.colorado.edu/cohousing/2001/msg01672.html
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Trina and others,

I wrote the article on common meals that was published in the next to last 
issue of Cohousing. (wish I could give you the date, but I can't remember 
exactly and can't find my copy--yikes, and I'm the associate 
editor!--anyway it's the one with the mostly blue cover featuring the open 
trusses at Swan's Market.)  I don't remember putting a lot of stuff in 
there about kid's meals but there was some info there. I hope that someone 
in your community has a copy. (If Jackson Place is a member of the 
Cohousing Network, you should have several copies floating around.

I've eaten common dinners in at least a dozen common houses, and asked 
about kid's meals in several others  I think that most do not have special 
food for kids at most common meals, although they might occasionally if 
they believe the entire menu on a particular night is not 
kid-friendly.  Most adults in these communities will urge their kids to try 
new stuff, and some parents report that their kids will try new stuff more 
readily in the common house than they do at home, because it's less likely 
to feel like a battle between mom and/or dad and their own kid(s). Only one 
community that I know of always puts out peanut butter and jelly and bread 
and plain rice at a side table for kids who don't ever want to eat 
whatever's at common dinner.  And one more always has a kid entree 
alongside the adult main course(s)

In most communities, it is hard to get the kids to stay at the table very 
long (no matter what they are being served) because there are more 
interesting things to do--i.e. run off and play with other kids. At Doyle 
St. there was a rule that a kid whose parents had told him or her that 
he/she could leave the table couldn't go up to kids who were still eating 
and urge them away from the table, but usually the kids "got it" that some 
were off playing and soon joined them in leaving the table You didn't ask 
about that, did you, but it relates to what I'm about to write.

We're presumably only talking 2 or 3 meals a week here and I've observed 
that many parents are relatively relaxed about how much or what their kids 
eat at common dinner. So what, they seem to say, if my kid doesn't eat the 
right amount of a balanced diet at these few meals per week or if he or she 
runs off to play before the adults have eaten only a few bites.  You can 
always do things differently in your own house. Kids will quickly get the 
idea of their being a double standard. After all, most kids know that there 
is still another standard in a restaurant.

Of course your community may have parents who have different ideas, and by 
all means, it would be good to have a meeting of all the parents, talk it 
over and see if you can come up with a plan that will please most of the 
people most of the time..... But I would suggest that overall, the simpler 
you keep your meals, the happier both cooks and eaters will be in the long 
run.

And personally, I'm not in favor of special meals for kids---of course once 
in a while it's fun to have a all-kid meal (mac and cheese of course) for 
everyone.  I haven't lived in cohousing with young kids of my own, but I 
think if I did  I'd want them to be exposed to new foods, and if they 
didn't eat well at a partiuclar common meal, I'd just offer them a healthy 
snack after dinner if they wanted it, or let them eat a snack before bed, 
or wait until breakfast. You have noticed, have you not, that kids will eat 
when they get hungry.....Unfortunately too many of us adults eat even when 
we're not hungry. (I know you can't see it, but I'm raising my hand......)

Joani
Swan's Market Cohousing, Oakland, CA


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