Re: borderline off topic-list welcomingness and politeness -- Pattee
From: Robin Covington (robcovhotmail.com)
Date: Mon, 25 Mar 2002 09:53:01 -0700 (MST)
Hi Christine: I guess the thing to examine is 'off-topic'. My vision of cohousing - (and at this point I must confess that obviously what I think of community living is all in my head and heart; I have no concrete knowledge of the actuality of the rules, guidelines, etc. as they pertain to a website, or to individual communities) - is that no question is off base - no idea unimportant, no topic sacrosanct. That is what is attractive to me about living in a community of people - it would be INTERESTING, diverse, thought provoking...I want my little family to be enlarged and engaged by people and by life.


From: Fred H Olson <fholson [at] cohousing.org>
Reply-To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org
To: -cohousing-L mailing list <cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org>
Subject: [C-L]_borderline off topic-list welcomingness and politeness -- Pattee
Date: Sun, 24 Mar 2002 13:09:02 -0600 (CST)

Christine Pattee C2pattee [at] aol.com
is the author of the message below.   Due to a problem
it was posted by Fred the Cohousing-L list manager <fholson [at] cohousing.org>
--------------------  FORWARDED MESSAGE FOLLOWS --------------------
Robin,

I'm sorry you got such a negative impression from your first post to the
list, and I think it may have come about from a misunderstanding.  As I
recall, there was some discussion of children in the community - I don't
remember the details, but it seemed relatively innocuous.  That lead Lynn
nadeau to write a post - labeled 'borderline offtopic' - discussing the
difficult concept that child molestation is most often carried out by the
people closest to the child.

I have found Lynn, on and off list, to be one of the most helpful and
polite individuals I've come across.  The points she so cogently made are
well known to feminists and social workers, but not necessarily so well
known to the community at large.  It's a message many of us feel a sense
of urgency to communicate because we see the results in the children we
know.  (I'm a long time foster parent.)  I had no sense that these remarks
were directed at you personally.

Being someone who is herself outspoken to the point of tactlessness, I
appreciate this list as a place where people can state forceful opinions.
On the other hand, I feel terrible when my words hurt somebody else, and
I'm sure it's the same for other outspoken ones on this list.

Christine Pattee
Greater Hartford CT Cohousing


> Message: 1
> From: "Robin Covington" <robcov [at] hotmail.com>
> To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org
> Date: Sat, 23 Mar 2002 10:56:52 -0800
> Subject: [C-L]_boderline off topic
> Reply-To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org
>
> Hi Lynn:
> I picked up a COMMUNITIES magaizine last week to pursue my interest in
> community living. I responded to some websites and joined his one. I have
>
> asked some questions, and the responses to my questions make me feel
> chastised and or ignorant. I AM certainly ignorant of co housing and all
> it
> means, entails, requires, denies, etc.  Hence, my questions.
> Perhaps you need to refer me to material or a website where I can learn the
>
> rules and know when and where my questions are appropriate.  I can only
> think you assume me to be uninvolved, unconcerned or brain dead. Of course
>
> molestation can happen by anyone, to anyone anywhere. Of course the first > thing we teach our children is to honor and protect their own bodies. And
> of course the people those children trust the most are the people it is
> hardest to take a stand against.  Like a family member.
> Jeez, was I really not supposed to ask? What's really up with you, Lynn?
>


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