|RE: Breakdown of Process in Cohousing||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Maggie (mduttonshaw.ca)|
|Date: Wed, 1 Jan 2003 09:04:48 -0700 (MST)|
DocArtemis wrote I've heard about the phenomenon of the "lightning rod" member in some of the cohousing literature. Tag... I'm it. I like the metaphor of the lightning rod because it is very descriptive of the phenomenon as I experience it. I "pick up" the static of dysfunctional, harmful social interactions and then respond with anger and outrage that is circulating in the subterfuge of the collective unconscious. I recall reading about the lightning rod some time back in the Communities magazine. I understood it to mean that one person seems to be the cause of the problems, this week/month/year. Everyone thinks that if they can just deal with that particular person the "problems" will be resolved. What was suggested and I have experienced is that as soon as the "lightning rod" person moves on....another one appears and the process begins again. My feeling is that a certain level of conflict and dysfunction is to be expected. Most of us have not had training in community living or conflict resolution and don't handle it well until we learn the skills and have opportunities to practice them. What is most important is how life in community affects YOU and how you deal with it. YOUR anger is not good for YOU and the only thing you can control is how you respond/react. It would help you to figure out why these actions of others so severely bring up your anger. Learning how to detach has been helpful to me. I am sure others like Rob and Sharon will have more useful suggestions and thoughts on how to deal with your specific situation and I look forward to reading their wisdom as always. I can't imagine how to handle a board who thinks issues like you mention are not their concern. What if you arranged and invited community members to a session with a mediator/facilitator? Good luck and keep us posted. It would be nice to learn of how situations like yours get resolved. It sure is interesting to have this forum to bring situations to light. Peer Support is a marvelous thing and this list is one of the best examples of it I have ever experienced. Here we have virtual community that supports our vision for "real" community. Congrats to the Cohousing-L as it celebrates 10 years and thanks to Fred for being there still. Maggie Dutton, Fort McMurray, Alberta, Canada. (where we are gearing up to apply for Project Development Funding (PDF) for an affordable cohousing project from Canada Mortgage & Housing Corp. aimed at single income parents and low-income singles) _______________________________________________ Cohousing-L mailing list Cohousing-L [at] cohousing.org Unsubscribe and other info: http://www.cohousing.org/cohousing-L
- Breakdown of Process in Cohousing Fred H Olson, January 1 2003
Re: Breakdown of Process in Cohousing Martie Weatherly, January 1 2003
- Re: Breakdown of Process in Cohousing Racheli Gai, January 2 2003
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