Re: move-in question re-phrased... | <– Date –> <– Thread –> |
From: PattyMara Gourley (pattymarajuno.com) | |
Date: Tue, 21 Jan 2003 20:20:02 -0700 (MST) |
On Tue, 21 Jan 2003 21:38:56 -0500 Ted Chesky <tchesky [at] earthlink.net> writes: >what I really meant to ask about were > interpersonal or community difficulties that commonly come up around move-in time, > or within the first months afterwards, rather than actual move-in logistics > (issues around learning to live together, setting boundaries, gossip, and > privacy come to mind). We'd like to do some advance thinking about > how to handle them. Ted, I'm not sure if any of the above can be processed before they happen. Living the reality is just so different than the dream of community that fules us as we go through the difficult work of design, construction, marketing. The best you can do is create a strong container for group process with clear communication agreements, and get to know one another now as much as possible, playing together, relaxing together, exploring together. Living in community is relationship work on a larger scale than most of us are familiar with. It takes time. And energy. And compassion for one another, because we all come with different skill sets and baggage. Learning to live together is ALL about setting boundaries. Most of us need more practice in setting boundaries. Living in community offers lots of practice opportunities. Gossip happens. Feelings get hurt. The privacy issues are a common fear....at least one half of every couple in our group was worried about it before move-in. Dogs and cats will be nuisances to some, treasures to others. There will be a honeymoon phase, and a disappointment phase and a re-visioning phase of your group life, sometimes at different times for different people. trust your process and have parties, it's difficult and it's all good, and it's worth it, in my opinion, Patty Mara Tierra Nueva, cen CA coast ________________________________________________________________ Sign Up for Juno Platinum Internet Access Today Only $9.95 per month! Visit www.juno.com _______________________________________________ Cohousing-L mailing list Cohousing-L [at] cohousing.org Unsubscribe and other info: http://www.cohousing.org/cohousing-L
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move-in question re-phrased... Ted Chesky, January 21 2003
- Re: move-in question re-phrased... PattyMara Gourley, January 21 2003
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Re: move-in question re-phrased... Jim Snyder-Grant, January 25 2003
- RE: move-in question re-phrased... Rob Sandelin, January 26 2003
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