Re: tyranny of children (was Fifty Plus Cohousing)
From: Eris Weaver (eriswsonic.net)
Date: Mon, 17 Feb 2003 18:58:01 -0700 (MST)
A couple of people to reply to here.

Robert Heinich of Eno Commons asked
> Eris, has your community considered the option of providing child care
> during the meeting?

Yes, we have ALWAYS had paid child care during our meetings. But not all of
the children GO to or STAY at child care and not all of the adults feel that
they should HAVE to.  We have had discussions about this periodically but,
well, the reality of community living is I don't get to have what I want all
the time. So I put up with the noise up to a certain point.

(Cue the Stones, "You can't always get what you waaaant, you can't always
get what you waaaant....")

Rachel from Sonora said
> I'm not sure why are you calling your post "'Tyranny of
> children": It seems to me to have more to do with how
> a group of adults can't figure out a way to accommodate
> everyone's needs:  It's hardly the children's fault.

I agree it isn't the children's fault, it is a difference of
style/preference/whatever among the adults, parents and non-parents alike.
One about which I was obviously feeling rather snarky at the time. It is
also my own fault for not speaking up often enough about the issue.

There isn't really a way to accomodate EVERYone's needs, as I was trying to
get at in my post. If some people feel a need to have children present in
the meeting, and some people feel a need to NOT have them there, there is no
way for them to be there and NOT be there simultaneously!  So we muddle
along somewhere in the middle, with somebody speaking up now and then if
things go "too far" in one direction or another. This is just part of
compromising and living with people.

Our group does have a committee that used to be called the parenting
committee but now has a much more elegant name like "adults and children
together"  to address just these sorts of issues.

And, for the record, I am not an evil child-hating non-parent; I have a
17-year-old and spend a fair amount of time with certain of the younger
community kids.

**********************************************************
Eris Weaver                                erisw [at] sonic.net
SoCoHo
http://www.sonic.net/~erisw/socoho.html
Sonoma County, Northern California

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