Re: RE: fifty plus cohousing
From: racheli (rachelisonoracohousing.com)
Date: Wed, 19 Feb 2003 16:44:03 -0700 (MST)
>From Racheli.

Hi TR.
I'm the one who wrote it, so I'd respond.

>When I read these comments I am struck by what seems to be an implicit
>assumption:
 
>> >I would also say that for me, personally, there is something very
>> >disturbing in the fact that people want to remove themselves from any
>> >segment of the population, which seems to be a  growing movement in
>> >American life.  For people to want to make sure that there are no old
>> >people around would be just as disturbing.


>The assumption (or is it an assertion) is that everyone must live in
>close proximity with all kinds of people, or else confess to having
>prejudicial tendencies toward "removing a segment of the population" from
>their lives as a whole.

NO.  What I said is that I, personally, find it disturbing.  I did not say
that anyone who does it must "confess to anything", or *necessarily* have
prejudicial tendencies.  I think some of the time this is where it comes
from, but I haven't generalized.  
Because I spent part of my childhood in a society which attempted to
create "monoculture" (the Israeli kibbutz in the 50's), I guess I have an
aversion to that.  This doesn't imply that people don't have a right to
live in less diversified communities. They have a right to it, just as I
have a right to my opinions about it.
Looking at people who grew up in kibbutzim, I've noticed a prevalence of
certain attitudes which I don't like, and which (in my opinion) are a
result of the removal from diversity.  This isn't the place to get into
this in detail, but that too has contributed to my feelings that diversity
does something positive for people, and lack of it does something I
dislike.  
[This doesn't mean that each and every individual turns out to be a
certain way, it's a statistical thing.  I still think one should judge
others on their individual merits (or lackthereof), and not jump to
conclusion because of where they grew up, etc.]


>I don't see any reason to make that assumption in all cases.  A person
>who (using current example) doesn't want to live with children has not
>necessarily removed that segment of the population entirely.  Children
>might be a big part of that person's life--just not someone that the
>person wants to live at close quarters constantly.

I see what you're saying, but just let me tell you that in many cultures
the possibility of living without kids around wouldn't even occur to
anyone - kids are such an integral part of life...   (the same goes for
other age groups).  My point is that the wish  to be away is based on a
whole lot of cultural assumptions that are fairly unique to this society
(but which are probably fast spreading). While I understand the
convenience, I'm afraid that there are deeper, not very positive,
implications.


>I don't believe it's defensible to bar people from cohousing for many
>reasons, but children do imply a particular living environment that,
>frankly, is irritating to some (not me, I have six--not all biological). 
>Well, I would want my community to have a fair population of
>children--others might not.  To me, diversity does not mean that we can't
>choose our living environment in terms of noise, space allocation, safety
>considerations, responsibility, and all the other burdens that children
>bring.

I thought I said that if people see kids as burden, then I can understand
why they'd like to go elsewhere, and I support them. [Which isn't the same
as agreeing with their feelings as such].

I hope I've clarified, at least in some small way, what I
actually mean :)

racheli [at] sonoracohousing.com
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