RE: The difference between "quiet" and "peace"
From: TR Ruddick (truddickearthlink.net)
Date: Fri, 3 Oct 2003 08:54:06 -0600 (MDT)
> From: racheli [at] sonoracohousing.com (Racheli Gai)
> Date: Thu, 02 Oct 2003 10:06:53 -0600
> To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org
> Subject: [C-L]_The difference between "quiet" and "peace"
> Reply-To: cohousing-l [at] cohousing.org
> 
> If it's true that people don't write because they're intimidated, then
> what we've got is, at best, the *appearance* of peace, but not the real
> thing.  For true peace to exist, people should feel free to express their
> views without fear of being put down or attacked. When I try to imagine a
> peaceful list, what I see is a list where variety of  exchanges take
> place, including fierce and passionate arguments which are carried out in
> respectful and sensitive fashion.

Followed in the same digest by:

> From: Sue Pniewski <SPniewski [at] Habijax.com>

> Liz, 
> It is fully inappropriate for you to personally attack Howard and I.  
> Obviously you are one of the "TAKERS".  
> Gimmie Gimmie, help poor me, so I don't have to work so much.

I guess fairly soon Fred is going to issue a "play nice" injunction?

Racheli, thanks for trying to inject good perspective here.  There's one
thing I'd add.

Recent studies suggest that people who take offense easily are suffering
from low self-esteem.

That's not to suggest that we all should become thick-skinned, willing to
say and hear absolutely anything about one another.  We still should "put
brain in gear before engaging mouth" as the old cliche went.

Sue, you don't know Liz personally, do you?  Neither does she know you. 
Excepting what you each have shared in this forum?  Characterizing her
passions as wrong-headed or ill-informed wouldn't be so bad; saying "I took
that as a personal attack" is fair, but descending into name-calling and
demeaning her character isn't helpful.  If she's really a greedy "taker"
then we're intelligent enough to figure it out ourselves.

Be tough on the problem, not on the person.  That's the way to "real peace".

TR Ruddick
Dayton Cohousing



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