Re: [C-L]_ "not safe" concerns
From: Becky Schaller (
Date: Sat, 31 Jan 2004 16:20:28 -0700 (MST)
Saoirse, we've also had reason to discuss this question.   I don't
remember the exact wording, but we decided to add a phrase to our 3-step
decision-making process which says that if you are going to use this
"don't feel safe" argument, then you have to be specific as to what the
group did so that you don't feel safe.  At least this way, the group can
learn and hopefully not repeat the same mistake. 

Becky Schaller
Sonora Cohousing
Tucson, Arizona
It's sweater weather and we do have a few houses for sale.  Send an
email to me if you're interested.

> As facilitators, do you ever feel/find that the "don't feel safe" argument
> can be used inappropriately? I personally find that some people are quick to
> say "it's not safe" but cannot be specific in saying what would make it more
> safe for them. I sometimes feel the group is being made to feel bad or wrong
> when the issue lies more within the person as an individual concern.
> So I was wondering on others' perspective about this.
> --
> Saoirse
> Harmony Village Cohousing
> Golden, Colorado
> ------------------------------
> Message: 4
> Date: Fri, 30 Jan 2004 16:04:49 -0700
> From: "Ellen Orleans" <ellen [at]>
> Subject: [C-L]_ Cohousing for Empty Nesters, Elders, and "Pro-Active"
>         Adults
> To: <cohousing-l [at]>
> Message-ID: <001601c3e785$78258fa0$7201a8c0@ellen>
> Content-Type: text/plain;       charset="iso-8859-1"
> Hear about Colorado's first "Pro-Active Adult" Cohousing neighborhood!
> Click on
> then scroll down to "Monday, Jan. 26"  and Senior Cohousing.
> We're especially excited about the wellness and "Elder Sage-ing" aspects
> of this mixed-income community.
> Ellen Orleans
> Wild Sage Cohousing (future next door neighbor to Senior Cohousing)
> Wonderland Hill
> ------------------------------
> Message: 5
> Date: Fri, 30 Jan 2004 18:05:17 -0800
> From: "Fleck" <foam4u [at]>
> Subject: [C-L]_ 10D Proposal from JPC
> To: <cohousing-l [at]>
> Content-Type: text/plain;       charset="iso-8859-1"
> Dear Coho Folks,
> Here's an idea we use at Jackson Place in Seattle. Maybe you have something
> like it and can share it with We've found that this method saves a
> lot of the extra energy and time we used to spend in large meetings and
> makes "getting things done" easier.
> 10 Day Proposal. This is a proposal from an individual or small group
> regarding a small project they want to get done. In most cases it doesn't
> need money from the larger group and is not a budgeted item. What anyone can
> do is put one of these out on our internal list serve. A hard copy must also
> be put in a wall pocket in the common house for everyone to read.
> The proposal includes a start date and a close date. If by the end of the 10
> days there is no objection that hasn't been resolved the proposal passes.
> The form we use has spaces for:
> 1. A definition of the proposal (end product)
> 2. The scope (what it will take to get it done)
> 3. Source of funds (how much & from whom - usually a donation)
> 4. Contact Person
> 5. Who's actually doing the work
> 6. What the timeline is (start & finish)
> 7. Details (reasoning, assumptions, etc.)
> If there is an objection that can't be easily resolved then it gets "bumped"
> to an appropriate team for advice and refinement. (We've got teams like
> Landscaping, Finance, Kitchen, like most Cohos do.) If the team can't deal
> with it, then it goes to the whole group at the next business meeting. This
> doesn't happen very often.
> For example -
> I had three different colored gallons of really good paint left over that I
> thought would be perfect for painting the Kids Playroom. I talked to several
> parents first to see if they thought getting something better than the cheap
> flat stuff we had would be something they'd be interested in. Everyone I
> talked to thought so.
> I put up a 10D Prop. I got 3 people who volunteered to help me do it and 1
> person who wanted to see samples of the colors (sort of a minor objection).
> The thing passed and next weekend we'll start painting the wall we want to
> put permanent shelves against first. My Ace-In-the-Hole was that I'm a good
> painter and everyone's seen my work in my own house. The Kids Room will be
> soft yellow, mint, and peach.
> I also have a 10D Prop to install community-wide rain barrels (Yes, in
> Seattle which got 2" of rain in the last 24 hours). This one has been bumped
> for reasons like placement, visual "appeal", installa-tion concerns, etc.
> We're slowly working thru this.
> We've used 10D Proposals for gardening changes, security improvements,
> Common House enhancmenets, process ideas, and lots of other stuff. It let's
> everyone know what's happening in a timely manner, makes the proposer think
> the whole thing thru, and allows lots of feed back. It doesn't usually stop
> the creative process or the abundance of energy some people possess. We also
> seem to get lots of cool projects done.
> Hope this helps,
> Anne Fleck
> ------------------------------
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