Re: "Christian Cohousing, " spiritual cohousing in general, and "Nutcases" (like me?)
From: Saoirse Charis-Graves (
Date: Wed, 15 Dec 2004 10:19:40 -0800 (PST)
Apart from all else, I personally did respond to the list with two messages that did not harangue and instead supported the idea of listening. Your message appears to imply that no such messages appeared. It's possible that my messages were not seen as "supportive enough" but I can assure you that I was not haranguing Mr. Stampler or calling him names. I felt some caution was in order, but I would always, always support the idea and that practice that diversity as a value includes compassionate listening to persons of all persuasions, especially those with which I most strongly disagree. At some point, I may discern that the conversation is too one-sided for me, if I were to feel I were not being accorded the same respect in return. In that case, I might disengage. But I would first try to listen.

Further, I believe Mr. Stampler's initial message did result in a discussion that was fully on-line and contributed to a greater perspective on the nuances of cohousing.

Are some cohousers self-righteous (or appear to others as same)? Unwilling to consider (or re-consider) other perspectives? Fearful of being used and abused by hidden agendas on the part of some who purport a more black-and-white worldview? Boisterous in their verbalizations of their own views?

Of course.

Cohousers, in general, are really trying to do something different because they believe there is a need for it. That implies a level of conviction about that need.

Many adults have been "burned" sometime in their life by "the Church" in some form. They experience an emotional reaction. Their experience has taught them caution is merited.

We all have our stuff. Religion and politics (and the prospect of intimacy, it seems to me, but that's my personal perspective) seems to bring it up in a big way.

And we're all a little edgy at this time of year. Despite the holiday cheer, it's a really stressful time for a lot of people on a number of fronts.

So -- painting us all with such a broad stroke seems unreasonable. There are, from my perspective, points within your message that could be productively addressed in this format. I wonder, however, if trying to cover it all at once accomplishes what you were hoping for. Again, only my perspective.

In peace and gratitude,

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