|RE: Not Enough Privacy in Cohousing?||<– Date –> <– Thread –>|
|From: Rob Sandelin (floriferousmsn.com)|
|Date: Thu, 9 Mar 2006 12:18:36 -0800 (PST)|
Hmmm. My experience differs with regards to people leaving cohousing due to privacy constraints. Privacy can be defined in several ways. It can be defined as the boundaries of what is not appropriate community discussion topics. For example in many cohousing communities sexuality is a privacy issue. This issue has happened in my own community, and I have heard of it in 3 others. Interestingly enough, in all cases that I know of, all the people who left because their privacy boundaries were violated all involved sexual or romantic relationships. Their issue appeared to be privacy around their relationships, as my neighbor who left put it, "it was like every man friend I brought home had to run this guantlet of gossip". She could not get people to respect privacy boundaries and it damaged some of her early forming relationships. Sort of like bringing a boyfriend home to the scrutiny of a large family. Some of her relationships had no interest in this kind of interaction with a bunch of strangers. I heard of more than a few angry exchanges where she confronted gossipers about her private relationships. It finally caused her to move out of the community. In another case I was told about, there were differing sexual behaviors which caused upset. The people who left felt it was nobody elses business, it was a private matter but clearly the community did not respect sexuality as private and reacted in a negative enough way that the couple left. So it seems to me that social norms for privacy might include several topics. As a group these norms might not apply, or they may by default be honored. It can be useful to have some conversations about what is fair game for group comments, and what kind of things might not be appropriate. People move into community with the background of the social norms they came from. This can be worth examining. Rob Sandelin Sharingwood Cohousing Naturalist, Writer The Environmental Science School http://www.nonprofitpages.com/nica/SVE.htm ><((((º>`·..·`·..·`·...><((((º>...·`·..·`·...><((((º>.·`·..·`·...><((((º>.·` ·..·`·...><((((º>·.. ><((((º> ·`·..·`·...·..·`><((((º>.·`·..·`·...><((((º>.·`·..·`·...><((((º>..·`·..·`·.. .><((((º>·.. ·`·..·`·....·`·..·`·...><((((º> -- No virus found in this outgoing message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.375 / Virus Database: 268.2.1/278 - Release Date: 3/9/2006
Not Enough Privacy in Cohousing? Joani Blank, March 8 2006
- RE: Not Enough Privacy in Cohousing? Rob Sandelin, March 9 2006
Results generated by Tiger Technologies Web hosting using MHonArc.