Re: Not Enough Privacy in Cohousing?
From: Martin Sheehy (
Date: Fri, 10 Mar 2006 18:03:11 -0800 (PST)
" Sexuality " in societies like ours in Western Europe & North America was 
always taboo as a topic ..of interest...of conversation...until very recently. 
OUT wasn't IN 10-15 yrs. ago. BUT, Peoria, IL ain't Hollywood or even 
Greenwitch Village, and the subject still has a ' naughty ' air about it. So, 
genes & chromosomes will out.
  Worse still, an uneasy feeling creeps over us as humans as we age when 
presented with the relatively exotic ( even those who have seen the movie ' 
Bareback Mounting ' or whatever it is called, still will, no matter what they 
thought of the movie---and that to a great extent will depend on their sensual 
leanings---find it ' different ' once they return home from the theatre.)
  During Phase I of the CoHousing process not all is yet revealed, I imagine, 
and it may come as a somewhat rude awakening to some that Neighbor Tom in 
Cottage # 5 is gay, or that Neighbor Larry in Cottage # 69 likes sheep ( most 
especially if the CoHousing Community indulges itself in husbandry :-.)  It may 
equally be unsetteling to Tom & Larry to learn that their Neighbors are 
rivitted by these alien--to The Neighbors--exotic and cutting-edge pursuits.
  Oh yes, my cherabim, sexuality and romantic entanglements still fascinate 
well into senior ages.

Martin Sheehy <martinsheehy [at]> wrote:
  Someone needs to say it, so I will:

" I wonder if he's gay or bisexual?. ".......some, or many, residents might 

My own sense from informal online surveys is that there are a lot of aging gay 
guys OUT there who simply cannot afford the affluent ' communities ' in coastal 
FL or Sante Fe, NM, but who feel that CoHousing competitively priced units, 
while within their fiscal reach, may be replete with homophobes, or even 
curious persons who find the gay guy ' exotic '. They've had quite enough of 
that, thank you, during their drone existence in the workforce, they sure as 
heck do not need or want it in the milieu chosen for their retirement. 

Marty S.

"Jeanne Goodman, JP Cohousing" wrote:
I would like to say that this is a VERY interesting post and something that 
might be worth pursuing further if I might recommend it as a topic for the 

This post will definitely make me think twice before I dare to ask someone 
if their guest was a date. I think it's hard to know when that kind of thing 
steps over the line of asking as friends who share information about what's 
going on in their lives versus sounding like a gossip.

Are there other taboo topics?

Jeanne Goodman
finally in Jamaica Plain Cohousing

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Rob Sandelin" 
Sent: Thursday, March 09, 2006 3:18 PM
Subject: RE: [C-L]_ Not Enough Privacy in Cohousing?

...Interestingly enough, in all cases that I know of, all the people who 
left because their privacy boundaries were violated all involved sexual or 
romantic relationships. ... 

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