RE: Kids Vs Elders: Aging In Place
From: Fred H Olson (
Date: Mon, 10 Apr 2006 06:41:15 -0700 (PDT)
Alexander Robin A <alexande.robi [at]>
is the author of the message below.
It was posted by Fred the Cohousing-L list manager <fholson [at]>
after deleting much quoted material.
--------------------  FORWARDED MESSAGE FOLLOWS --------------------

To clarify, we were not driven out by kids. My wife's illness and problems
with our state sponsored health insurance required we move back to our
home state, and we were sad to have to leave the cohousing. However, there
still were issues unresolved. From several responses on this topic and
from my experience there seems to be a generational shift in childrearing
philosophy. For me and some others of my aged generation it seems
perfectly reasonable to expect kids to behave differently at meals than
when they are playing outside. As a kid, when I ate dinner with my family
we sat around the table and talked at normal volume. I was not allowed to
get up and charge around the house yelling during meals. Even if I had
friends over. Now parents seem much more reluctant to put any restrictions
on their kids' behavior. They are permitted to make noise and run around
during meals and to interrupt a conversation their parents may be having
at any time. I ascribe no malice to any of this behavior and it certainly
is natural for kids to have a lot of energy and be boisterous. But that
does not mean they cannot or should not be taught when that is and when it
isn't appropriate.

Add to this the usual poor acoustical design of most common houses. (It
seems that acoustics is a subject rarely taught to architects - at least
that's the impression I get from the results of their work.)  For those of
us with a hearing problem, common meals become impractical and
unenjoyable. I would not be surprised if people are affected by this noise
more than they realize - I think it's stressful for everyone. Would be
interesting to measure blood pressures before and after a noisy common
meal ;)

Robin Alexander


From: Caren Albercook [mailto:calbercook [at]]
Sent: Sat 4/8/2006 11:27 AM
To: Cohousing-L
Subject: [C-L]_ Kids Vs Elders: Aging In Place

   I was saddened to hear that anyone would be driven
out of cohousing by the needs of the children there,
and I'm anxious that it not happen in my community.

Results generated by Tiger Technologies Web hosting using MHonArc.